2. “When exactly does everyone go for a wee?”
This is important. Never do we see any anyone go for a wee. Nor do we see them pop out of the office to go to the shop to purchase some biscuits.
And yes, you could say that no other drama offers us the chance to see a main character popping for a wee or having a biscuit, but this is 24, such is supposed to show us absolutely everything in real time. Wee and biscuits included.
3. “Seriously, has anyone thought about the office?”
OK so you’re trying to stop a deadly virus being unleashed into the streets of Los Angeles, just after you stopped 19 nuclear devices from going off at the same time. But here’s something: maybe consider purchasing a pot plant? Just to spruce things up in the office? It would make everything MUCH nicer.
4. “Why do all of the main characters all have moody faces when they are in split-screen mode?”
Why is everyone so poised and still or sad at exactly the same time? Why does this always happen at exactly same time each episode, like during the 55th minute of the episode before something big happens? And as the action always takes place in multiple locations in real time, why don’t the characters in different locations speak at different times?
5. “If we are watching an episode of 24 online do we need to pause during the show where the advert breaks would be? For three minutes at a time.”
An episode of 24 on “normal” TV lasts for one hour. On on-demand services like Netflix? As there are no adverts it lasts about 38 minutes. Do we therefore need to pause more than six times? DO WE?
6. “And why do the most exciting and tense moments happen towards the very last few seconds in each hour?”
It’s never eight minutes in, never 25 minutes in. It’s never even 45 minutes in. It’s always three seconds before the top of the hour. THAT is when the President of the United States has to make a life-or-death decision. THAT is when a war-head is fired into the sky by the enemy but nobody knows where exactly it is going to hit. THAT is when a deadly disease in a box is activated next to a big fan in the hotel. THAT is when a major character nobody expected to be killed… is killed.
To be honest if I was them I would be like, “You know what, it’s five minutes to four I’m going for a nice walk instead of dealing with this entire terrorism thing.”
7. “Why do they always tell us who Jack Bauer is even though it is now the 22nd episode?”
To be honest if you’re trying to work out who all of the main characters at the start of the 22nd episode because you haven’t been watching you’re on your own.
8. “Does Jack Bauer get good overtime and appropriate holiday allowances? He always seems to be busy.”
If anyone had a 24 straight working day I think it would be acceptable for them to be allowed to come in at least slightly late the following day for work. Maybe come in closer to 10am instead of 9am? In fact why is Jack always the guy that has to do everything?
“Hey Jack. We know that you have been shot in the face three times now and have broken up a hostage crisis with these terrorists. You look quite tired, have the afternoon off.”
9. “Why are they able to hack into classified files but it takes me four hours to get into my Gmail account?”
And don’t even get me started on 2-step verification on Gmail. Don’t start.
10. “Why is everyone able to drive around incredibly quickly with very minimal traffic in the centre of Los Angeles?”
11. “Has anyone realised that Quinto works for CTU?”
WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO SHUT UP. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
12. “Do the characters eat biscuits during the ads?”
The circle represents a full hour and the shady bits represent ad breaks.
And yes I know getting obsessed about the toilet habits of the main cast during what seems to be an apparent terrorist crisis is a bit weird. I care about accuracy.