But from the moment you start shopping in Waitrose, you start to encounter a few problems.
1. You have to convince your friends the whole time that Waitrose isn’t posh, when it sells this.
2. AND you have to make sure that you avoid these really really REALLY expensive products.
3. You also have to keep convincing yourself that these products are actually really really “essential”.
4. Want good news? If you spend over £5 and if you have a myWaitrose card you get a free Guardian!
5. The bad? There are no Guardians left. Would you like a FREE copy of the Daily Mail instead?
And you love using it because using the laser makes you feel like you’ve got superpowers.
But can you scan half your own products? NOPE.
7. But at least you get intimidated by the hot staff.
8. You’ve now got to face going down the chilled aisle, which can be a little bit nippy.
9. BUT at the other side of the supermarket is the wine section, so let’s treat ourselves to some wine.
A store assistant, called Colin, starts to walk over to you and is about to ask whether you want any help.
11. You then go to the self-service checkout, then realise that you can only pay by card. Pennies are for the common people.
12. But at least you’ve got your myWaitrose card, which promises you discounts on your purchases.
But how much do you save? This much.
And you never ask the cashier why.