You Know You’re A Night Owl When…

And yet people still insist you operate when the sun’s up. Ugh.

1. It’s the end of the day. You’re tired, thinking about maybe heading to bed early for once.

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2. Then 10 p.m. rolls around, and suddenly your brain’s like, “LET’S DO THIS.”


You didn’t ask it to do that. It just does.

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3. Your most productive work hours are somewhere between 1 a.m. and dawn.

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4. And you’re easily distracted from those productive nighttime hours by night blogging and accidental Netflix binges.

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5. You love the peace and quiet you get when everyone you live with is asleep.

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6. And you’re a cold soldier of turning off the microwave with one second left, so you don’t wake your roommates.


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7. Which is good, because after midnight your appetite skyrockets.

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8. See also: your mastery of the fine art of silently eating potato chips.

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9. Your house makes weird noises at night, and you’ve resigned yourself to being murdered by a ghost at 4 a.m.

Unless it’s just your toaster making that sound.

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10. You come up with some really brilliant ideas at night. You just can’t always read them in the morning.

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11. Your nightly conflict: Show your friends the funny things you’ve found online, or avoid being the weirdo who posts on people’s walls at 4 a.m.?

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12. You know exactly the time the neighborhood birds wake up and start making noise.

So. Loud.

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13. Which you take as your cue to finally get some shut-eye.

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14. Even when you try to go to bed, it’s impossible for you to actually fall asleep.

900 channels, and nothing on but infomercials.

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15. So you’ve digested a lot of weird late night TV.

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16. You’ve seen waaaay too many sunrises when you were waaaay too tired to care about how pretty they might be.

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17. When it comes time to wake up, no one has ever loved a bed as much as you love your bed.

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18. And you wish the snooze feature could bend time to give you “just five more minutes” for another six hours.

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19. Your morning-person friends have already jogged three miles, knit a sweater, and made a nutritious breakfast, all before you’ve had your first cup of coffee.

Nigel Parry/C Magazine / Via

How do they do that?

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20. Speaking of coffee, that’s probably all you had time to make for breakfast.

But it’s also probably all you wanted, anyway.

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21. You feel preposterously tired throughout the afternoon, when everyone else is just so damn happy being awake.

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22. You promise yourself you’ll finally catch up on sleep. Then night hits and the cycle starts again.

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23. Let’s be honest, you’re probably reading this when you should be asleep.

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