The Thorn On The Bachelor's Rose

I hated every second of this show for the very reasons that I loved it. I've never made it past the first episode ever since Trista and Ryan found bliss and made babies somewhere in the mountains. This episode is no different, as I spent a nice majority on my iPhone. But somewhere between 10 rounds of QuizUp and Facebook stalking old high-school classmates, I finally understood it all: what's so horrible about the series is what makes it so successful. We're supposed to LOVE to HATE it, LOVE to MOCK IT. And somewhere deep in all that guilty pleasure, there are many, many things wrong with the show.

What happened to diversity?

OK Magazine / Via okmagazine.com

Is it just me, or would 1 Costco-sized bottle of honey-toned foundation work for 99.9% of these ladies?

Is an exotic bachelor their idea of mixing it up?

Via hollywoodreporter.com

17 SEASONS later and we still don't have an African-American? Or at least give this Jew a Judah, David or Moses!

The women are contestants who are hoping to "find" love.

Via ebay.com

If by find, you mean compete like hungry women at a SAKS shoe sale, then give me a telescope and call me Sherlock. They're trying to compete for love (read: A September 2015 tell-all with People Magazine reading "Where it all went wrong")

"Picturing my life with Juan Pablo is great..and I can picture my life with Juan Pablo even more after meeting him."

That was after the impromptu massage. Are we acting like ABC was supposed to have a massage table on hand?

The ABC editing team has better skills than the BRAVO Real Housewives Crew. Every glance, every frown, every squint of jealousy. (CC: Teresa's Table Flip)

That's TWO precious moments in one shot. Way to go, ABC!

“Here’s a puzzle. All that’s missing is me.”

Via blog.zap2it.com

No one thinks you're a serial killer, Lacy.

Even KANYE doesn't have an official month.

Via Twitter: @_NathalieOates

"Listen, Juan, you might have January, but I have—" nothing, Kanye. Without a month named after you, you have nothing. Amiright, Juebuary?

How long will I keep watching?

Probably never again, until I need a nice pick-me-up/ego-boost. Same time, next week, ya'll?