What College Should Have Taught You Vs. What College Really Taught You

Thanks a lot.

1. College should have taught you how to get a job.

2. Instead you learned the ins and outs of BuzzFeed, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit, theCHIVE, YouTube and blogs.

Yet you STILL don’t have enough social media know-how to get a job in social media.
*womp womp womp*

3. College should have taught you how be financially smart and invest.

4. Instead college taught you how to bullshit your way through tests.

We all know we did this, and we did it well.

5. College should have taught you how to do your taxes.

6. Instead your college internship taught you how to send faxes.

This seems like an irrelevant skill since FAX MACHINES ARE OVER.

7. College should have taught you how to be innovative, smarter and quicker.

8. Instead college taught you how to handle your liquor.

Except let’s be honest, mistakes are still made from time to time.

9. College should have taught you how to be a good writer.

10. Instead you learned how to regurgitate facts and ideas, without getting any brighter.

Thank you, internet gods, for your many informationz.

11. College should have taught you how to dress for success.

12. Instead you learned that it’s okay to show up to class looking like a hot mess.

This is not really acceptable at a job or in the real world, however. DARN!

13. College should have taught you how to work with a team.

14. Instead college taught you the perks of being mean.

It’s impossible to work well with people when those people are stupid.

15. College should have taught you the importance of politics and the news.

16. Instead, college taught you to spend all of your money on food and booze.

But now college is over and you have to pay off your student loans with your -$3.00.
RIP happiness and THANKS FOR NOTHING.

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