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College should have taught you how to get a job.
Instead you learned the ins and outs of BuzzFeed, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit, theCHIVE, YouTube and blogs.
College should have taught you how be financially smart and invest.
Instead college taught you how to bullshit your way through tests.
College should have taught you how to do your taxes.
Instead your college internship taught you how to send faxes.
College should have taught you how to be innovative, smarter and quicker.
Instead college taught you how to handle your liquor.
College should have taught you how to be a good writer.
Instead you learned how to regurgitate facts and ideas, without getting any brighter.
College should have taught you how to dress for success.
Instead you learned that it's okay to show up to class looking like a hot mess.
College should have taught you how to work with a team.
Instead college taught you the perks of being mean.
College should have taught you the importance of politics and the news.
Instead, college taught you to spend all of your money on food and booze.
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