1. You have the opportunity to do a really cute pregnancy announcement.
2. Get ready to take at least one bump picture a week.
3. Depending on where you are, the standard of maternity care you get will either be amazing or rubbish compared to home.
4. But you’ll have twice as many pregnancy rules to follow.
5. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” has been translated into over 30 different languages.
6. But it may be necessary to finally fork out for a dictionary.
7. While you’re at it, look up “epidural.”
8. You suddenly realise just why people move closer to their parents when they have kids.
9. The only time it’s ever okay to call in the middle of the night (their time) is to say you’re finally in labour.
10. But at least you won’t have to deal with the pressure of hysterical visitors waiting in the hospital for you to push that baby out.
11. And even when you’re far away, people are still lovely enough to send presents.
12. You’ll get stuff like Calpol and Sudocreme in the post too.
13. The urge to post every single picture to Facebook will be strong.
14. After two weeks your baby will find the Skype ringtone as recognisable as your own voice.
15. You will see people with kids complaining online about visitors coming over constantly.
16. When you do get visitors, they will stay for weeks on end. Maybe even months.
17. On the plus side, visiting family = FREEDOM.
18. Flying with a newborn is exactly the nightmare you thought it would be.
19. You will be uncertain about the kid’s nationality until you apply for a passport.
20. Side note: It’s really hard to get an infant to pose for a passport picture.
21. But it means you get to go in the short queue at immigration in the airport.
