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14 People You’ll Meet On Spring Break

This list makes for a pretty good game of I Spy.

1. The mom in every group

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They’ll probably strictly enforce the one glass of water per one drink rule. God love ‘em.

2. The poor souls who are still in relationships but vacationing solo

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Wearing a face full of regret and discomfort. “I can look but not touch” is their mantra of the week.

3. The “I’m not drunk” drunk

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This person will look you in your face and tell you they haven’t had that much to drink, even though you just witnessed them shotgun a beer directly after completing a keg stand. #SuchDenial

4. The fair skinned individuals

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SPF 1,000 is their best friend.

5. The Jersey Shore lookalikes

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Just beware of the grenades.

6. The locals

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They’ll be wearing the most fabric and sporting a disdainful frown. Stay out of their way.

7. The beach police

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Remember that $20 is not a good enough bribe to get yourself out of trouble. When all else fails, cry.

8. The high school senior

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This kid’s probably not quite ready to hang with the older crowd. It’s too much too soon.

9. The athletic gods/goddesses

There is no such thing as a friendly game of beach volleyball against these athletic marvels. Showoffs.

10. The old flirts

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You know what I’m talking about. Old guys working their magic to hang out with the younger beach goers.

11. The wild ones

They’ll probably be eating their cereal out of a Solo cup and chasing it with a beer.

12. The frat daddies

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They’re known for wearing ridiculous amounts of neon and showing off just enough man thigh in a nice pair of Chubbies.

13. The cougars

Having an empty nest can make a woman do some crazy things. 55 is so the new 25.

14. The storytellers

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It usually starts with “I have the craziest story to tell you” and never seems to end. They love to relive those crazy stories…over and over and over again.

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