1. You grew up where?
2. When people hear where you are from, they just think of concrete cows and roundabouts.
3. Although, to be fair, there are a lot of roundabouts.
4. The city is probably younger than your nan.
5. There's never much news.
only in Milton Keynes ffs
6. You might as well forget about using public transport.
7. Most of your life was spent walking along grass verges next to busy roads.
8. Going up city to go clubbing often filled you with a vague sense of despair.
9. The night might begin well, starting with a slap up meal in the Theatre District.
10. And then you realised you couldn't get into Oceana because you weren't wearing smart enough shoes.
11. So you went to The Pitz instead for a bit of moshing.
12. The Tree was the centre of your social world.
13. Before it died in 2008. :(
14. The grid system is impenetrable to outsiders.
15. And the names of the estates make no sense at all. Tinker's Bridge, Bleak Hall, or Fenny Stratford, anyone?
Thames Valley Police dealing with minor disorder in estates at Milton Keynes -Eaglestone, Garraways, Coffee Hall, Bean Hill and Netherfield.
16. You are dismayed by plans to demolish The Point.
17. And the train station was always encircled by literally hundreds of skateboarding greebos.
18. MK Dons are the only football team that everyone in Britain hates.
"We're coming for you, you franchised bastards."
19. And don't even think about going to the annual Christmas event.
20. And worst of all, Cliff Richard might appear in the mall at any moment.
21. Stay classy, Milton Keynes!
Getting reports that @VirginTrains 16;20 from Euston is delayed by a naked man on the tracks at Milton Keynes.