1. Marco Rubio's Water Cup
Hey, something funny could happen with me during the debate but I probably don’t need to be my own Twitter account, right?
I’m filled with water!
Everybody shut up and get to Rubio drinking out of me!
2. Jeb Bush
Getting ready for the first debate tonight! Hope the moderators don't throw any THORNY questions my way!
My first Executive Order? No more birds eating our berries! NO MORE BIRDS. NO MORE BIRDS. #NOMOREBIRDS
3. Rand Paul's Right Bicep
I think I’ve got a pretty good *grip* on the issues!
I’m putting this debate in a metaphorical headlock!
4. A Struggling American Family
Thanks for the shoutout GOP debaters!
Wait a second…things are pretty hard for us! These guys are right!
Hoo boy, thanks to all these debaters for sticking up for me!
5. Binders Full Of Women 2016
What if someone mentions me? That would be so funny!
6. A Self-Deporting Immigrant
If these are the best candidates the GOP has to offer, maybe I WILL leave the country!
7. The Bridge From BridgeGate
Stop picking on me! I’m just a bridge!
Let's hope the ROAD to 2016 doesn't DRIVE over me!
Talk about troubled water! I’m over it (I’m over both literal water and this controversy, just to be clear).
8. Fantastic Four Or GOP?
Who Said It: The Thing or Ted Cruz? "It's clobberin' time!"
9. Cyberwalls
You can huff, you can puff, but you can't blow me down!