1. First of all, the burgers, which are handmade by angels.
Because that’s why you came here, right?
2. Also, the heavenly, freshly cut-to-order, divine fries.
3. When the burger and fries come together on a tray, you can hear a choir of angels singing in the distance.
4. The Special Sauce, because only mere mortals use just ketchup and mustard.
PUT IT ON EVERYTHING.
5. The milkshakes are pretty much nectar from the gods.
How can you choose among vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry?
6. The Neopolitan Shake is the most potent of them all.
7. The ingredients are fresh 2 death.
In-N-Out’s motto is LITERALLY “Quality you can taste.” Does it get any better than that?
8. Like, it’s so fresh you can only get it in certain states.
If you’re not in California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, or Texas, you’re out of luck.
9. Hallelujah! In-N-Out is kind to us and has kept things simple.
That’s the entire menu … Or so you thought!
10. But if you want to go crazy, the Secret Menu is what dreams are made of.
Secrets, secrets are no fun if you do not tell everyone.
11. Secret Menu Lesson Number One: ALWAYS order Animal Style.
It’s kind of a big deal.
12. When you order the fries Animal Style, an angel gets its wings.
Special sauce, melted cheese, and grilled onions? GET AT ME.
13. Why just have one patty when you can have up to FOUR?
Sometimes more is more.
14. Vegetarians, praise the Lord. You can order a “Grilled Cheese” off the Secret Menu.
Have you ever seen something so delightful?
15. If you’re really feeling crafty, you can order from the SUPER Secret Menu.
Warning: It’s not for the faint of heart.
16. For instance, if you’re famished, you can order the Flying Dutchman.
The ultimate Atkins-friendly order — two beef patties with cheese in between. YUM.
17. It’s not a sin to eat “healthy” and order your burger Protein Style.
No buns, no sweat.
18. It’s not just about the food. In-N-Out is the perfect place to go with fellow foodie disciples.
19. And where else would you rather celebrate a special occasion like Holy Matrimony?
20. Seriously, is there a better way to celebrate than with a Double-Double, Animal Style?
21. Kim Kardashian showed that nothing is better for pregnant mothers than some good old-fashioned In-N-Out.
22. If milkshakes aren’t your thing, Beyoncé showed us you can wash down your In-N-Out with champagne.
23. The smiles of In-N-Out employees are shinier than the Gates of Heaven.
They’re pretty much the happiest people on earth.
24. They also have the best outfits.
25. In-N-Out is so heavenly, the soda cups even cite scripture.
It’s practically like going to church.