It's second grade, and you remember what that meant: You were going to learn to play the recorder.
1. Your mom picked up a recorder for you, and you were like, "WTF color is this?":
2. Unfortunately, it came with a matching case:
3. Then there was the one kid in class who had a neon recorder. You were insanely jealous and also mad at your mom for not picking up THAT one at the store:
-_-
4. Then it dawned on you: You couldn't just blow on your instrument; you had to learn how to read music, which was actually kind of hard!
5. First up, the song that would haunt you for the entirety of elementary school: "Hot Cross Buns."
I bet the song is stuck in your head now, right?!
6. You also played "Ode To Joy" so many times, you were practically on the verge of tears.
7. For the first few weeks, everyone in class sounded like a bald eagle being put through a washing machine.
8. Then when the teacher had you play in front of everyone, you somehow hit a high note that nearly shattered all the windows in the classroom.
9. One kid in your class was basically the second coming of Mozart, and made everyone else in the class look bad so you just glared at them like this:
10. Of course, your teacher made you practice at home before class each week, which was like homework, but worse.
11. So you were left with only one realistic option: lie, and have your parents sign your practice sheet for you.
12. Of course, your music teacher called you out on your B.S. when you turned in your practice sheet, because you played like shit.
13. After a few weeks, you had to clean your recorder, but this is what the saliva inside looked like:
14. You of course had days when you forgot to bring your recorder to school, and you had to call your parents to drive it to you.
15. If your mom was a hardass, she wouldn't bring it to school so she could "teach you a lesson." Of course, your music teacher tore you a new one.
16. Finally at the end of the year you had your recital, which was the worst because your parents made you dress up like this, like you were performing in a symphony or something:
But once you were done, after all that blood, sweat, and tears (along with WAY too much saliva) there came the day where you quit playing the recorder:
