For centuries, people from the north of England have left to find fame and fortune in more illustrious parts of the world. But where ever they end up, they always find themselves missing the same things about home…
1. There’s the countryside.
This is The Lake District. Not bad, huh?
This is Northumberland — the Rothbury Crags, to be precise.
The Yorkshire Moors. They don’t call it ‘God’s Own Country’ for nothing.
2. The beaches aren’t bad either, come to think of it.
3. Other things you miss? Well, proper fish and chips, for a start.
Done right, with gravy and scraps.
4. Drinks being a reasonable price.
6. There’s being near Scotland.
The rest of England may feel a vague antipathy toward bonny Scotland, but the North is bonded to her by culture, cuisine and rainfall.
7. And no one being ‘hip’. Which means nobody looks like this.
8. What else? Well, there’s this being on the telly.
12. But really, it’s all about the people. You start to miss the famous Northern Bullshit Detector.
13. And the way people have their priorities straight.
14. Then there’s how friendly everyone is.
It’s a hug, or a firm handshake. NEVER an air kiss.
15. Having a ‘proper’ drink.
You can keep your cafe culture or your glass of wine after work — we’ll be getting drunk enough to sleep on the pavement, thanks very much.
16. Talking to strangers.
Even on public transport, where it is perfectly acceptable to spark up a conversation with someone you don’t know. Unlike in London, where chatting to strangers is seen as the mark of a psychopath.
17. And people calling you ‘pet’, ‘love,’ or ‘duck’.
Because northern colloquial affectionisms are the best colloquial affectionisms.
18. Finally, there’s your mum or your nan always asking when you’re ‘coming home’.
As if being away from the north is just a daft phase you’ll grow out of.
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