30 Ways To Win At Being A Flatmate

Living with people is a messy business. Here’s how to come out on top.

1. We all know sharing a home can quickly descend into a messy war of attrition.

2. The first step to victory is identifying key battle grounds. Like the fridge.

3. Where sometimes a pre-emptive attack is required.

4. And at other times, a strongly worded threat.

5. Or if both fail, a swift and brutal retaliation.

6. Then, of course, there’s the bathroom.

7. Where you can engage in everything from low-level laziness…

8. …to out-and-out hostility.

9. Finally, there is the kitchen sink. To win this particular battle, you can try sarcasm.

10. A little creativity.

11. And when all that fails, try the blunt approach.

12. A good old-fashioned prank is an excellent way to gain the upper hand in housemate war.

13. Make full use of any extended period when your enemy is away.

14. By taping 100 glasses of water together on their desk, for example.

15. Or messing with their heads.

16. Or making sure they can’t get back in without a struggle.

17. The more creative your prank, the better.

You know, like taking off their doorknob.

And coating it in batter.

18. But be warned: Pranks can just as easily fail.

19. How you make your point is vital. There’s the classic written note.

20. The internet meme.

22. Graffiti art.

23. Or something more in line with espionage.

24. In the end, though, it’s worth remembering nothing kills like a little kindness.

25. We all make mistakes — it’s how you own up to them that counts.

26. A little good humour goes a long way.

27. Like this guy, who knows where to draw the line.

28. Or these guys, who prove it’s never to late to make amends.

29. So be considerate, and kind.

30. And before long, you’ll reach a state of harmony and mutual understanding.

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