30 Ways To Win At Being A Flatmate

Living with people is a messy business. Here’s how to come out on top.

1. We all know sharing a home can quickly descend into a messy war of attrition.

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2. The first step to victory is identifying key battle grounds. Like the fridge.

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3. Where sometimes a pre-emptive attack is required.

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4. And at other times, a strongly worded threat.

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5. Or if both fail, a swift and brutal retaliation.

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6. Then, of course, there’s the bathroom.

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7. Where you can engage in everything from low-level laziness…

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8. …to out-and-out hostility.

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9. Finally, there is the kitchen sink. To win this particular battle, you can try sarcasm.

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10. A little creativity.

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11. And when all that fails, try the blunt approach.

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12. A good old-fashioned prank is an excellent way to gain the upper hand in housemate war.

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13. Make full use of any extended period when your enemy is away.

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14. By taping 100 glasses of water together on their desk, for example.

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15. Or messing with their heads.

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16. Or making sure they can’t get back in without a struggle.

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17. The more creative your prank, the better.

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You know, like taking off their doorknob.

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And coating it in batter.

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18. But be warned: Pranks can just as easily fail.

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19. How you make your point is vital. There’s the classic written note.

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20. The internet meme.

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21. Cartoons.

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22. Graffiti art.

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23. Or something more in line with espionage.

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24. In the end, though, it’s worth remembering nothing kills like a little kindness.

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25. We all make mistakes — it’s how you own up to them that counts.

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26. A little good humour goes a long way.

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27. Like this guy, who knows where to draw the line.

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28. Or these guys, who prove it’s never to late to make amends.

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29. So be considerate, and kind.

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30. And before long, you’ll reach a state of harmony and mutual understanding.

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