1.
The bar has to be well stocked.
2.
With a good selection of ales.
3.
(Not that you'll be looked down on for ordering a lager.)
4.
And more than one cider...
5.
It'll sell proper snacks. Like this.
8.
There should be one of these somewhere.
9.
And a pub dog. Like this guy.
11.
Not this guy. He looks a little too hardcore.
12.
An old-fashioned jukebox.
13.
A toilet that is the exact opposite of this one.
16.
(With plenty of these, obviously.)
17.
Graffiti should be tolerated (when it's witty).
18.
A proper Ploughmans should be on offer.
19.
And there should be space for the old boys.
20.
Tell you who is not welcome, though: any stags dressed as a penis.
21.
Any hen parties (or inflatable dolls).
22.
Or anyone who just can't handle their booze, basically.
23.
No, just unpretentious drinks.
24.
And above all, a sense of humour.
