28 Signs You Were Raised By Persian Parents In America

Dasteh shomah dard nakoneh for reading this.

1. While other parents were decorating their baby rooms when their kids were born, your parents were pickling things to give you on your wedding day.

ID: 961618

2. Your friends would bring things like Lunchables to school.

ID: 960103

While you’d bring in some ground beef and rice.

ID: 999734

3. When it was time to get a car, you were pissed when your parents got you just a regular 3 series.

ID: 962163

When your best friend got an M3.

ID: 999875

4. Your parents told you you had to be a doctor.

ID: 968548

Or a lawyer.

ID: 993655

Or both.

ID: 993647

Even though you keep telling them you plan on being the next Maz Jobrani.

ID: 962160

5. From the moment you were born, they’ve wanted you to get married.

ID: 978024

6. They wanted you to somehow have kids without ever having sex.

ID: 999802

7. This is what your uncle’s arm looks like.

ID: 962183

8. Your dad has sprayed almost a full bottle of the same cologne on himself every day since as far back as you can remember.

ID: 967814

9. Sometime between age 40 to 60, every woman you know somehow becomes a blonde.

ID: 961663

10. Your parents think everyone is also Persian.

Theo Wargo / Getty Images

“His real last name is Charlie Shaheen, he changed it for Hollywood.”

ID: 962274

11. And when an actor/actress actually is Persian, they become obsessed with them.

ID: 963105

12. There are so many Persian rugs in your house, your parents have to literally stack them on top of each other.

ID: 962167

13. You had to explain what this was when your friends would come over.

ID: 968482

14. Your idea of a refreshing drink is carbonated yogurt.

ID: 978149

15. You drink chai at every transition in the day.

ID: 962077

16. Rose water EVERYTHING.

ID: 999748

17. You were surprised to learn that there were flavors of ice cream other than pistachio.

ID: 962153

18. The first time you went to a baseball game and someone came by with this yelling, “cotton candy,” you were confused.

ID: 968373

Because this is what you thought cotton candy looked like.

ID: 968380

19. Your mom’s solution to every pain you have is to put eggs on it.

ID: 974827

20. You had trouble explaining Farsi phrases to other people.

“What do you mean by dirt on my head?”

ID: 967519

21. This is how you greet people.

ID: 967686

22. When your family was invited to a party, you’d tell the host that you don’t want anything until he begged you to take something and you finally agreed to have just a few.

ID: 996463

And they’d fill up your plate anyway.

ID: 996462

23. You also end up spending most of the party bobbing your head like this because you have no idea what any of the older people are saying to you.

ID: 993683

24. It took your family two hours to leave a party because you had to say good-bye to everyone three times.

ID: 967586

25. After a party, your parents fight with the hosts to help do the dishes.

ID: 967822

26. Going out with your parents and their friends is a pain because after dinner they argue over paying the bill — except deep down they don’t really want to pay it.

ID: 967829

27. Once a year your parents took you to a parking lot to jump over fires.

ID: 999668

28. And no matter how hard you try to teach your mom, she can’t say it any other way other than Ehstarbucks.

Stefan Wermuth / Reuters
ID: 963150

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