2. Low rise jeans are COMPLETELY out of the question
What if you need to do an emergency tuck?
3. Sometimes it’s difficult for you to walk
4. like REALLY awkward
5. And things get so tight you need help getting your pants off
6. And if you get TOO excited you’ll need extra help getting them off
7. You are constantly playing hide a seek with it vs the world
8. You can’t wear super short shorts
Unless you want to give the world a little big show
9. And you can never wear a Speedo
Which is maybe ok?
10. Any kind of brief is a problem for you
11. You have to look in the mirror a thousand times before you go for a jog so this doesn’t happen
13. You think you had a fun night out with the guys and go home and notice a prominent outline of your man part has been posted to Facebook
14. Which prompts you to get weird messages like this from random people on the internet
16. Your friends begin to refer to you as Jon Hamm
17. You avoid using showering at the gym because you don’t want to freak people out because of your assets
And most likely make them feel bad about their own size
18. And finally, it has to be a secret!
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›