1. Because you bought her a shirt two sizes too small.
2. Because you didn't pick up his favorite kind of food from the store.
3. Because you watched Orange Is The New Black WITHOUT them.
4. Because you tried to kiss her but had massively terrible Cheeto breath.
5. Because you DARED TO QUESTION their fierceness.
6. Because you forgot to pour her decaf coffee and now she's all JACKED UP.
7. Because you and your finger were rude as hell.
8. Because you thought the dog, of all people, deserved the bigger bed.
9. Because alternate modes of transportation are not good enough, so now everyone's getting the silent treatment.
10. Because you refuse to buy any kind of window treatment.
11. Because you NEVER LISTEN.
12. Because sometimes you need to be reminded to clean your heckin' windows, Henry.
13. Because he knows your eyesight would deteriorate without his action.
14. Because of Trevor.
15. Because you spend more time looking at your screen than you do at her, and she has had ENOUGH.
16. BECAUSE SHE HAS HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THESE NOISY ASS GEESE.
17. Because they would like some private time, FOR ONCE, please.
