1. "Please just clean around me."
2. "OUR DRESS CODE IS STIFLING MY CREATIVITY."
3. "I can't imagine I'll be going in tomorrow after this pasta-strophe. Bringing my own lunch IS NOT WORTH THIS."
4. "Screw you, Paul, and your mandatory daily meetings."
5. "I FIND NOWHERE RELAXING AT THIS POINT, WHICH IS A PROBLEM."
6. "MY LAPTOP IS MY ONLY FRIEND AT THIS POINT."
7. "Oops, can't come in today. My bed ate me."
8. "No. more. data. please."
9. "I remember what life is like outside my cubicle. I think it was green and leafy."
10. "I'M FINE WITH WORKING LATE TONIGHT. THANK YOU FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY."
11. "I literally can't take one more of Cheryl's terrible jokes."
12. "This commute is getting RIDICULOUS."
13. "Am I home? I don't even know what home is anymore."
14. "DON'T MAKE ME GO."
15. "Sometimes, I like to pretend I'm on a fabulous vacation. ANYWHERE BUT THE OFFICE."
