1. "You don't wanna know how this chapter ends anyways."
2. "I've read this one before and, trust me, it ain't gonna win any awards."
3. "I'd rather eat this whole book than let you read one. more. word. of it."
4. "All of these are garbage. May I interest you in playing with some yarn instead?"
5. "YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES SOON. Sorry, but I thought you should know that before continuing."
6. "Guess what? This one's no good either. Told ya so."
7. "I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST READ."
8. "Pick a different genre, I beg of you."
9. "I can't bear to let you go on. There are a LOT of beheadings coming up, just FYI."
10. "Don't turn another page! Let's just watch TV instead."
11. "They fall in love at the end. There. Now you don't have to read it."
12. "Let's go get ice cream already, jeez. You've been reading for like an hourrrrr."
13. "Oh, these ol' things? Not worth your time."
14. "Every word of this is unnecessary."
15. "SPOILER: EVERY AROMA IS GREAT ANYWAYS."
16. "Look at what a gorgeous day it is outside. GO PLAY."
17. "I'm still crying from the last time you read this book. C'mon, man!"
18. "This one's mine. Sorry."
