1. Good Boy Bands
Who dressed in outfits like these and wrapped themselves in rope. Also — how did we not know Lance Bass was gay?
2. Girl Power
Remember when the Spice Girls were role models for little girls? Now we have Rihanna. And she isn’t exactly an advocate for girl power…
3. Skip It
This was a workout disguised as a stylish toy that kids played with outside. Kids now have their interactive Wii Fits (and I will admit – Just Dance is one hell of a workout), but they can’t bust those out on the playground. They can bust their iPhones and iPads out (which they also consider toys), but they don’t provide any physical activity. Yeah, technology is cool. But nothing beats the exercise skip its provided at recess.
I raced home every day to watch Carson count down the day’s top music videos — the best day being when The Bum Bum Song topped the charts at number 1. Kids now don’t have such an event to look forward to after school. Music videos aren’t cool and we don’t need a show to tell us what today’s top songs are.
5. Toys That Came Alive
Furby, Tickle Me Elmo, Tamagotchi, that horrible doll that went to the bathroom. All of these were way cooler than some lame tablet. Right?
6. Full House
John Stamos, the Olsen twins pre-coke/fur/anorexia, Bob Saget not being dirty… Full House had it all.
7. 90s Nickelodeon
All That, Rugrats, Doug, Hey Arnold, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Clarissa Explains It All, The Secret World of Alex Mack, Aaah! Real Monsters, The Angry Beavers, CatDog. The list goes on. Not only were the shows phemon, but Friday and Saturday nights were spent on our couch watching TV (SNICK & TGIF anyone?!).
8. Beanie Babies
If Beanie Babies were popular now, would there be one for Kate Middleton? Also, remember Teenie Beanie Babies? Those things contributed to the obesity of many Americans. ‘Must. go. to. McDonalds.’ Now that is one things kids these days aren’t missing.
9. Line Dances
Think back to a middle school dance. Everyone is standing around… Girls on the left. Boys on the right. And then it happens. A magical song starts to fill the cafeteria. Everyone gathers into lines and starts doing the same dance. No, this is not a cult-like rebellion or zombie takeover like the one in the Thriller video. It is a LINE DANCE.
Flash forward many years later and you have the 2013 “line dance,” which consists of middle school students grinding with one, two, three, or more people in a straight line to a song by Swedish House Mafia, Taylor Swift, or Pitbull.
Long live the Macarena, Cotton Eye Joe, Electric Slide, Cha Cha Slide, and even We Like To Party.