11 Indian Fusion Dishes That Need To Be Banned

WHY DOES DHOKLA PIZZA EXIST TO BEGIN WITH? Is nothing sacred?

Despite India being a historical melting pot of cultures and ideas, some of these minglings don't exactly translate well in the kitchen. Indian fusion dishes are invading restaurants and roadside eateries alike at an alarming rate. While we are all for innovation and creativity in food, some of these ideas are plain bizarre and so forced that we think they should probably be banned. Besides, "banned" is quite the buzzword of the current times, innit!

(Disclaimer: This compilation is written with a deep admiration for our nation's innovative foodies, so if any of the following foods are your favourites, feel free to laugh it off.)

1. Birizza

Via pizzahut.lk

When Pizza Hut launched Birizza in India earlier this year, there was quite some social media outrage protesting the blasphemous combination and rightfully so. In case you are wondering what this is, it is Biriyani covered with pizza crust. There cannot be a weirder combination of rice and roti in one dish. Great for people who cannot make up their minds on what to order.

2. Tandoori Momos

Via foodspotting.com

If you stumble and fall anywhere in India's northern half, chances are you wont be far from a momo stall. With these plump steamed dumplings filled with veggies (read cabbage) or meat, Tibet has left an indelible culinary stamp on India. But then we took the dish and made it our own by turning it into this ghoulish thing called Tandoori Momos. This is the Delhi love for everything tandoor, lassoing the innocent momo, lashing it with red paste and throwing it in the tandoor.

3. Idli Chilli Fry

indiahouseajman.com

Idli, the healthy steamed dish, known for its fluffiness, gets morphed into an oil soaked, crispy monster, in this "Idly chilly", which also has North Indian cousins like Paneer Chilly. To add to the ~sophistication~ of this dish, it comes in two variants, idli chilly dry and idly chilly gravy. Wow. And if not making a "chilly" version of this is not enough, there are also manchurianised versions of idli, giving stiff competition to the Gopi (gobhi) Manchurian.

4. Schezwan Dosa / Spring Roll Dosa

couponraja.in

Schezwan dosa has more variations in spelling than any other food we know. And sometimes even mutant offsprings like paneer schezwan, mushroom shezwan, tom-chi dosa (!!!). Boss, if you want to eat schezwan something, go to your nearest Indi-Chinese restaurant and get the triple Schezwan noodles, but please, for all of our sakes, leave the humble dosa alone to be had with getty chutney and sambar.

5. Paneer Ghee Roast

Via rekhaaskitchen.blogspot.in

For chicken lovers, the Mangalore Ghee Roast is nirvana on a plate. Doing a paneer twist on this classic is just a rude joke, on both the original dish and the vegetarian who is served this dish, as the paneer gets totally dried out and bland by the time it's done cooking.

6. Dosa Khakhra

Via quicknamkeen.com

Someone desperate to do a culinary marriage between a South Indian and a Gujarati favourite has come up with this thing called a dosa-khakhra. Yes, this is one of the gazillion flavours sold by a famous Khakhra conglomerate in Gujarat. We love dosas and we love khakhras, but please can we not make them have babies together? Can all of us please just be friends?

7. Noodle Samosa or Chinese Samosa

Via cucumbertown.com

Whoever first came up with this freakish idea of stuffing India’s world-famous snack with noodles! This is possibly someone's idea of Hindi-Chini-bhai-bhai – we did Indian versions of your dishes, and now we'll do Chinese versions of our classics! Give us the good ol' potato filling or kheema filling and leave the noodles alone, please.

8. Paneer Vindaloo

Via Instagram: @http://www.oninstagram.com/photo/tarka-indian-kitchenwow-d-413774007909825204_9809173

We vegetarians appreciate the fact that by subbing meat with paneer in every meat based recipe, restaurants are trying to be more inclusive (read: less creative). But a "paneerified" version of a vindaloo is sure to earn the ire of every food loving Goan out there.

9. Pasta Curries

Via shobhasfoodmazaa.com

Pasta kheer, pasta Chettinad curry, pasta palak paneer and several such fusion pasta dishes feature on Indian menus, enough to make generations of Italian nonnas turn over in their graves and yell distressed "Mama Mia"s in our general direction. And not to mention the pasta that comes floating in Indian cashewnut-tomato gravy, duly garnished with tadka (and even curry leaves). Hey, if you like the taste, who are we to complain, but this just sounds fundamentally wrong.

10. Dhokla Pizza

Via spice-it.jimdo.com

We Indians make a pizza from anything we can lay our hands on – uthapam, dosa, roti, khakra, you name it! The "dhokla pizza" is one such abomination. A thin layer of dhokla (which by itself would have been so good), topped with ketchup, vegetables and cheese, on which a liberal sprinkling of sev, green chutney and coriander wont be amiss.

11. Chocolate stuffed modak

Via food.ndtv.com

Modaks, which usually make an appearance during Ganesh Chathurthi, are traditionally made with quite a few fillings such as coconut, chana dal, sesame etc. An endeavor to give this a creative spin leads us to the chocolate stuffed modak. This is just the sort of dessert which will help you lose weight, because it's so easy to say no to.