Meet Kalan, He’s Literally The Worst Street Performer In The Whole World

“I describe what i do as a non-narrative, nihilist, anarchist puppet show about literary theory.”

1. Thankfully for the rest of us, Gothamist has found the world’s worst street performer. His name is Kalan and unsurprisingly he performs in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

2. Kalan wears a lot of actual garbage. Also, warpaint.


3. And he travels around with a bunch of other actual garbage.

4. He also drinks out of the garbage.


5. Sometimes he runs around subway trains dressed kind of like a Jawa from Star Wars.

6. And sometimes he stands on trash cans and waves around a big tube.

7. He describes what he does as “a non-narrative, nihilist, anarchist puppet show about literary theory.”

8. Pictured below: something apparently about literary theory.

9. Oh, and sometimes he’ll touch you with his garbage puppets.

10. He’s using a baby doll attached to his fingers to caress this man’s leg.

11. Now he’s using the same baby doll to touch the man’s shoulder while blowing a harmonica in his face.

12. So, now you know, this is Kalan.

13. And he’s the worst.

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Ryan Broderick is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
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