Written By Author Meghan Quinn
5 Ways to Get Out of a Date
Ladies, have you ever been in the position where you are in the middle of a date and realize things are just not meshing but you have no clue how to end it without hurting the guy's feelings?
There is the classic phone call from a friend, but that's too obvious. The guy will know what you're up to and be devastated.
So here are some tips to get you out of a sticky situation without hurting the guy sitting across from you.
1. Your Ovaries are Talking to Him. Tell the man that you're a straight-up Fertile Myrtle looking to have kids as soon as possible. Tell him that your ovaries are knocking at your Lady Garden gate, just waiting for their fertilization. This will be an instant deflation in his honey stick and a surefire way to keep him as far away from pollinating you as possible.
2. Hairy Mary. Go 1970s on him and talk about how body hair is the new fab. Prickly pears are more fun to munch on than a peach. Want a turn-off? Talk about the bush from belly button to tush.
3. Stage-Five Clinger. Time to pull your crazy out. Every woman has it. Some just might have to dig deeper than others. Call him your boyfriend, accuse him of staring at a girl, or go all crazy jealous on him and tell him that you're the only one he can ever look at. Wrap your arms around him and tell him that you're never going to let him go.
4. Pull out the "L" Card. Strap your lady balls on and mutter those three little syllables with pride. Then sit back and watch the guy scramble to get away. Nothing is scarier than a complete stranger saying, "I love you," with crazy in their eyes. That's a surefire way to excuse yourself from all dating duties.
5. Time to Get Married. If the "L" card doesn't work, you have one last option. Get down on one knee and propose. Grab his hand, lay out a lifetime of babies, houses, and minivans (yes, mention the minivan), and ask him to marry you. Pull out your entire arsenal, and lay it on thick. Commitment after one date will have the guy's ding-dong folding inside itself and not coming out for days.
If none of those options work, if he's still with you after you use all the scare tactics in your toolbox, then MARRY the MAN. If he can deal with your crazy, then he is a catch! Stick it out. You might find that you actually like him.
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