23 Places Where You Definitely Should Not Set Off Fireworks

The Fourth of July is upon us, which for many people means that it’s once again time for amateur fireworks displays.

1. 1. Right Outside The White House

The Secret Service would not be amused.

Source: sethrubinphotography.com

2. 2. On A Hot Air Balloon

Pro tip: You can launch fireworks into the air from the ground. You do not have to be up in the air to begin with.

Source: celebrationaviation.com

3. 3. Under A Thatched Roof

Source: farm3.staticflickr.com

4. 4. At A Golf Tournament

Fireworks are supposed to be fun, whereas golf is not.

Source: media.commercialappeal.com

5. 5. At The Movies

Source: unrealitymag.com

6. 6. Near Your Cat

Cats have enough to worry about as it is.

Source: iam.cat

7. 7. Anywhere Near A Cloned T-Rex

Source: collider.com

8. 8. At Your Local Public Library

Source: franklinparishlibrary.org

9. 9. The Sistine Chapel

They’d like to keep all those fingers, thankyouverymuch.

Source: digilander.libero.it

10. 10. Inside A Pumpkin

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=G71VJI-ffXM.

You’ll piss off the old guy.

Via: youtube.com

11. 11. Within Accidental Burning Distance Of The Constitution

We know you’re fired up about the Constitution. But you will be in deep bald eagle shit if you set it on fire.

Source: static.icivics.org

12. 12. Next To The World’s Largest House Of Cards

Source: marketmagicshop.com

13. 13. At A Funeral

Don’t be that guy.

Source: i.lv3.hbo.com

14. 14. In Your Hand

Source: 3.s3.envato.com

15. 15. On Top Of An iPhone

Source: www-bgr-com.vimg.net

16. 16. Near A Wooden iPhone Holder Shaped Like A Hand

Source: blogote.com

17. 17. In States Where All Consumer Fireworks Are Illegal, Like Massachusetts…

Source: yellowmaps.com  /  via: en.wikipedia.org

18. 18. New Jersey…

Source: gracegalleries.com

19. 19. And Delaware

Now you know something about Delaware!

Source: abusegroup.com

20. 20. In A Redwood Forest

Source: i337.photobucket.com

21. 21. At A Performance Of John Cage’s 4’33”

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=gN2zcLBr_VM.

22. 22. Inside A Fireworks Factory

Exploding fireworks factories are not even remotely cool in real life.

Source: thefireworkshoplist.com

23. 23. North Korea

Kim Jong Un would not share your enthusiasm.

Source: topnews.in

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, EVERYONE!