1. “My driver was creepy. Like nobody who steps into his basement, ever steps out kind of creepy.”
You know the type. The mix of Slugworth and the snow shoveling guy from Home Alone. With out the (spoilers) endearing qualities.
2. “The car reeked of BO. I didn’t want to ask him to turn on the AC in fear that opening my mouth would lead me to taste it.”
Let me guess. You wear “natural crystal” deodorant.
3. “I got to play GPS!”
A pre-deployment map quiz. That’s all I’m asking.
4. “Why is this stranger picking me up in a mini-van?”
I’m going to work, not soccer practice. But, yes, I will take an orange slice.
5. “The driver didn’t say anything. Ever. I left wondering if was dead the whole time.”
Please respond to this to confirm I did not, indeed, die ten years ago today.
6. “I think your employee may be obsessive-compulsive. I had to tell him “this is it” three times before he actually considered touching the brake.”
It was not a language barrier, and I’m trying to be nice and not suggest that he’s just an asshole.
7. “Please provide car color. I got into a stranger’s car by accident.”
It was not my idea of a “meet-cute”.
8. “Please let your driver know that it’s cool if they want to chat on Bluetooth, but ask me what radio station I want to drown it out with first.”
And the answer will be the Top 40. And the first one to tears wins!
9. “Please go for a ride in every single applicant’s car before letting them be part of the fleet.”
I’m just not a huge fan of the game of “Blood or Food Stain?”.