1. There’s Kevin’s ice cream and Crunch Tators binge eating session.
No parents and endless snackage = every child ever’s ultimate dream.
2. (At least 146 people out there live for that scene alone, by the way.)
And I can’t say I blame them.
3. Then there’s the pizza you can’t even see yet, but you’re already salivating.
Cardboard never looked so good.
4. Unfortunately, Kevin’s not into it, though.
C’mon, Kevin! A smorgasbord of greasy, meaty, wondrous pies await you.
5. The pizza’s only on screen for like a second, but that’s all it took to get your heart pounding.
Are those mushrooms on there? Sausage? Who cares! Dig in!
6. Chris Columbus must have been like, “Alright, this pizza looks delicious — we’ll have Kevin order more later in the movie.” So Kevin does.
7. And forget Beyonce — Fuller needs a Pepsi endorsement deal.
Has Coke’s little brother ever looked so satisfying?
8. How sad is it that you’d kill for some Wonder Bread and milk right now?
9. Even the fake holiday meal — in a magazine spread, on your TV screen (i.e. two degrees of separation)— looks scrumptious.
This has to be rock bottom.