I "Tried On" Different Stereotypes To See How Strangers On A Dating Website And My Friends Would React...

I performed a humorous social experiment where I "tried on" different stereotypes to see how strangers on a dating website and my friends would react to each...

So, What's Up With This?

Recently I was inspired by a social experiment that Marie Southard Ospina did on Bustle.com entitled "I Dressed as a Goth, a Party Girl, and a Manic Pixie Dream Girl — Here's How My Friends, Partner, and OKCupid Reacted" and figured I would try one on my own, since I've always felt inclined to do so anyway. This whole thing was done out of pure curiosity and is not intended to be scholarly or deeply informative.


So, what I did was set up an account on OkCupid under a fake name (Lauren) that I made open to both men and women. I wrote a description for myself and left the description untouched for the remainder for the experiment. The only thing that I changed periodically was the profile picture over the course of a few days.
The styles I chose to depict were some of the biggest stereotypes that I notice women tend to fall into. I dressed as the "hot blonde," the "goth chick," the "fantasy nerd girl," the "lost hippie/stoner girl" and of course the good ol' "plain jane." If you're offended by any of my depictions, you're missing the point and probably don't have a sense of humor.

*I would like all of you to know and understand that all of my "opinions" on each style are solely meant to be funny and not offensive or anti-feminist in any way. In fact, I wrote this whole article to be humorous and the slightest bit informative [on how people view us based solely on appearance.] I personally am 100% for every woman dressing and acting however pleases her, without judgement, as that's what I hope others would want for me and all of our sisters.
The opinions of my "friend" are hers alone but I can assure you she was just contributing her silly thoughts and they are not to be taken seriously.

So, without further ado, let's see the results...

1. The "Hot Blonde"

So, the first stereotype I chose was the "hot blonde" girl. She's pretty, she looks bubbly, her boobs are big and in your face and therefore you don't care about the rest. What a shame, because if you read her profile you'd see she's actually a really interesting human being with cool hobbies and educated opinions. (Shocking, I know.) The boys want her and the girls want to be her. I'm not sure why you'd want an endless barrage of strange men asking you inappropriate questions- but to each their own and I don't judge.

My inbox was immediately flooded with messages. I was getting one or two every few minutes. I thought this had something to do with being a "new" profile, but later in my experiment I realized I was wrong. Let's check that out.

"Hey, Hot Blonde..."

Yep. I don't know what I was expecting.

Most of the messages I received as the "hot blonde" were about sex. Although, if you bothered to actually read it, my profile stated I was only "looking for friends." Oh well. I like the guy that doubted I could possibly be real... And the gentleman with his passionate offer. (Thanks, bro.) And let's not ignore the very straight man who told me to put my boobs away. *winks*

Here's what my friend thought (she's sweet, I swear):

Friend: "Definitely enjoys vodka and has a bff named tiffany and/or brittany. Shops at bebe. Drives a 2015 sporty coupe."

Hmm. Moving on...

2. The "Goth Chick"

Here's an Instagram picture I dug up from this past winter. I'm embodying what it means to be the "goth chick" here. (This is how I actually look most of the time, minus the unflattering black lipstick, but I'm ready to poke fun at myself. *deep breath*) Black hair, black makeup, black eyes, black soul. She's probably kinky as all Hell and maybe a little emotional... Or she's just being trendy- you know, the ones who got really into AHS "Coven".

Shockingly, I just really enjoy a monochromatic makeup/clothing palette, but whatever.

Let's see how OkCupid and my friend reacted.

"Hey, Goth Chick..."

Wow. I was a little harder on myself than any of these strangers were. I suppose we're our own biggest critics, right? Yeah.

When I changed my profile picture to the "goth chick" my inbox immediately cooled off and I stopped getting messages every few minutes. I won't lie- I was the slightest bit offended, but then I started receiving inquires about my favorite bands. I got that (possibly) condescending "Hey Ms glam rock" message, and then I got asked if I was into threesomes. (Spoiler alert: I'm not.)
Not many other interesting messages, surprisingly, and nothing cruel. (Thanks, Obama!) Now let's see what my friend thought...


Friend:"Listens to Marilyn Manson and probably owns a dozen choker necklaces and enjoys taxidermy. Likely has the skull emoji in their bio."

Awesome... NEXT!

3. The "Fantasy Nerd Girl"

Ah, I refer to this persona as the "fantasy nerd girl" because if I didn't, all the REAL nerd/gamer girls are likely to tear me to shreds. (Forgive me, sisters.)

"Real" nerd/gamer girls hate this so-called "fake gamer girl," but for some reason unbeknownst to me, she seems to be some kind of shining goddess to gamer guys. She loves cartoons, she loves video/computer games, she looks like a not-as-intimidating SuicideGirl and she probably doesn't mind sitting around and watching you play COD. Booyah.

Time to see what the Internet and my personal relations think of this...

"Hey, Nerd Girl..."

Looks like I attracted some ~funny guys, here. I also got one who is (evidently) interested in my writing, one who assumes I'm cuddly for whatever ungodly reason, and YES, someone who is clearly happy that I am a "fellow gamer." (Sorry to get your hopes up, my friend.) Most of the messages I received were friendly compliments and nothing derogatory. Interesting. Here's what my brutally honest friend thinks of this:

Friend:"Uses the "xD" "x3" "^__^" faces in 2015. Will argue endlessly about anime. Definitely has a Studio Ghibli tattoo or wants one."

Now, we're onto the next one...

4. The "Lost Hippie/Stoner Girl"

Woah man, like, totally trippy.

I am NOT used to seeing myself like this. Ever.

But, that's not what we're focusing on. This girl is most likely has an affinity for the Grateful Dead and marijuana. She loves 60's music, psychedelics, tapestries, and she loves her lava lamp she bought at Spencer's. I'm sure she mostly appeals to the male version of herself (See: "stoner boys") but she's really chill and a lot of other men want her uncomplicated, fun company as well. Does my theory hold up? LET'SCHECKITOUT!

"Hey, Hippie..."

Once again, I was actually taken aback by how completely not rude these messages were. My inbox flow had almost ceased to a complete halt when I used the "lost hippie/stoner girl" as my profile picture, probably because she's not as ~eye catching as the other stereotypes I portrayed before her. Eventually, I started getting questions.

I find it funny that people are more likely to inquire about my interests when my appearance isn't very flashy. The sincerity is refreshing though, because it's not at all what I was expecting out of this experiment. (Maybe I'm too cynical. Whatevz.) Alright, let's see what the homie thought...

Friend:"YEP DEFINITELY LISTENS TO GRATEFUL DEAD AND PINK FLOYD. Talks about enlightenment and chakras. Has a bong with a name. Likely vegan."

Alright, let's move onto the last one I've got for you.

5. The "Plain Jane"

This is another image I dredged from the bowels of my Instagram. I'm not entirely sure why I actually posted it, but my best guess is that I was lacking selfies. *shrugs*

This is my "plain jane." She's probably okay with not wearing makeup, not having her hair done, and just basically wearing whatever clothes she grabs out of the hamper on her way out the door. She's so appealing to date because she's low maintenance, and completely fine with her natural appearance. But that is exactly why other people are afraid of her... She's seemingly too confident. (Or maybe she just really doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks. Your guess is as good as mine.)

"Hey, Plain Jane..."

Oooo... How riveting.

I waited sooo incredibly long to get a message with "plain jane" as my profile picture, that I actually deleted my account and remade it in hopes of getting someone's attention. I thought that was how it worked- considering I was being bombarded with messages when I originally opened the first account with the "hot blonde" as my profile picture.

I was wrong.

Evidently being a "new" profile doesn't help get anyone's attention if you're ~nothing special. For shame. I still had the same fun hobbies and interests that were listed in my first profile and nobody cared. (Except for these three guys, thankfully.) Now let's see how my "plain jane" persona impacted my friend...

Friend: "I HONESTLY JUST SEE YOU SO I FEEL BIASED."

Short, sweet, and to the point.

In Conclusion...

All in all, I was actually pleasantly surprised by how few cringe-worthy messages I received. Based on the article by Marie Southard Ospina that inspired my research I figured people were going to be far more cruel, or at least more insensitive. Apparently not.

As humans, we're visual and naturally judgmental creatures. However, judging others solely on their appearance is a very shallow act, and we should unlearn such behaviors if we're looking for deeper connections. Unfortunately, I've come to believe that dating websites and apps like OkCupid and Tinder are perpetuating a "hookup" culture to a younger generation who aren't looking for serious relationships. That's all fine and good, as long as it's safe and consensual, but it's apparent that most people looking for "hookups" probably aren't looking for emotional intimacy.

I didn't get a single message from a woman, which I found a little disappointing and a little strange, but perhaps women are a bit pickier than men. In fact, I found that to be true in several cases, because I received very different messages from the same men who didn't recognize me after I changed my picture. *Tsk*

In conclusion, I've confirmed to myself that different looks do make a difference in how others perceive you. Physical attraction is a strange thing, and no one can or should be blamed for what they are/are not attracted to. It's all a matter of opinion and that's all fine and good as long as you're not shaming others for aesthetics that you don't favor.

(Wooooah, such a SUPER insightful conclusion, Rayna!)

That's right, friends. Hope you enjoyed.

*Tiny disclaimer: This article is meant to be humorous and lighthearted and the research shown was only collected for fun and pure curiosity.