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1. your agent asks you to blow into a contraption to start their car
2. you ask for lender recommendations and they set you up with someone from the mob
3. their open house includes a keg, a dj, and an exotic dancer
4. they ask to borrow gas money
5. they stage your house with plastic lawn furniture
6. they can’t show you homes within a certain proximity to the local schools
7. when you ask for comps they send you to zillow
8. their “FOR SALE” sign slightly resembles a used Garage sale sign…and it says OBO
9. while showing you houses they grab a snack out of everyone’s fridge
10. instead of using the common lockbox, they pull out their trusty lock picking kit
11. the virtual tour they made of your property reminds buyers of “The Blair Witch Project”
12. their business card photo has height measurements in the background
13. when requesting an office consultation they ask you to come to their parents’ house.
14. they refuse to work weekends
15. they insist on you moving up the closing date so that they can pay their own mortgage
16. their assistant’s name is Fluffy and she accompanies you in a Louis Vuitton purse
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