12 Things Aussies Don't Want To Hear About Winter.

It's not always hot down here, you guys!

12. "Australian Winter is just an English Summer."

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No! English Summers are pleasant and mild. Aussie Winters cause my nipples to slice holes in my shirt.

11. "At least all the murderous reptiles are hibernating."

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Prime Drop Bear season.

10. "It's not really winter if it doesn't snow."

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It does snow here! Sometimes lots. In very specific places. Even in Campbelltown that one time.

9. "How do you deal without a white Christmas?"

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We put snakes in the esky.

8. "What can you do in Aus without warm sunny beaches?"

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We find ways to occupy our time.

7. "Well, what do all the surfers do in Winter?"

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Go surfing...

6. "Your Winter has nothing on Canada's."

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Well my tootsies don't have to slip into ugg boots and nick to the shop at 6am in Canada, do they?

5. "Australia doesn't really have four proper seasons. Just a wet season and a dry season."

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We DO have four seasons. Hot and wet, hot and dry, cold and dry and cold and wet.

4. "How do you fill the hole left by summer sports?"

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More sports.

3. "Surely it's not that cold?"

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Oh no, it's like three months on a tropical beach...

2. "At least the evergreen gum trees stay beautiful all year round."

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They will be pleasant to look at while I hack them up for firewood with my razor sharp nipples.

1. "But July is summer?"

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Just let it go, man. Let. it. Go.