#10 The Humble Nurse
Sure, Nurses may appear to be altruistic individuals with their deceiving smiles and bright white pressed dresses (yes I still live in the 1950's), and even though they've dedicated their lives to learning how to medically help people in need, there still remains a dark, sinister side to nursing.
The reason the humble nurse makes this list is because of the deceit they must regularly deploy to successfully perform their duties. It takes a real psychopath to walk into the waiting room smiling and calling on little Johnny, who has a deathly aversion to needles, into his check-up knowing full well she'll be jabbing a 5-inch needle nearly into his arm bone in just a few minutes. This coldly premeditated pain is the reason nurses are #10 and the reason why I'll never trust a nurse again.
If you like inflicting pain upon wide-eyed innocent children, consider a career in nursing.
#9 Tree Killers
Nowadays they probably go by other less conspicuous names, like Forest Management Officers or something deceptively non-threatening sounding. However, the fact remains; people are still employed to cut, saw, and kill living things on a massive scale and on a daily basis. One can only assume that they probably didn't like the movie Avatar, and if they did, they were probably rooting for the wrong team.
This author is no hippie, however, there is no denying the natural beauty of a pristine forest, all the green and good smelling things make it a very pleasurable place to be as a homo-sapien when along comes the lumberjack with his snarling, exhaust-spouting saw to come and cut it all down.
The actual slaughter isn't all that horrific, it's not until the next day when the bloodlike sap has dried and all the leaves shrivel and turn brown that sadness sets in. Anyone looking to destroy such a beautiful thing, like running the Mona Lisa through a paper shredder, clearly has some inner anger they're channeling.
If looking at your dead Christmas tree in March brings a smile to your face, consider becoming a lumberjack.
#8 Airline Baggage Handlers
These cowards must be some of the angriest people in the world judging by the state of some of my suitcases after just a short trip cross-country. Seriously, the only way an aluminum framed, moderately priced suitcase from a reputable brand can be turned into a giant accordion is by the deliberate action of a very angry little man and a lot of force.
With tools at their disposal like mini trucks and high ramps, damaging luggage can be effortlessly carried out, like dropping glass plates on a stone floor. These sickos must vent their anger on unassuming passengers with the cloak of anonymity as flyers never get to see who is loading and unloading their often times precious cargo. Indiscriminate damage of personal property earns the luggage handler 8th position in the angriest jobs in America.
If you like anonymously causing people grief and frustration while spinelessly protecting your own identity, consider a job as an angry little baggage handler.
#7 School Lunch Ladies
At first it was difficult to include the lunch ladies on this list, as going through school they received a fair share of angsty teenage bullying, and thus draw a little sympathy. However, upon deeper reflection and realization of their maniacal ways they earned themselves a solid #7 position.
The scheme that these masters of torture employ is simple; starvation. I vividly remember as a lanky and fast growing teen when lunch rolled around, I was absolutely famished. However, just because of some of my more plump classmates the school had strict portion control on all aspects of the meal. While perhaps fair in its design, it was the sinister lunch ladies that got to carry out this prison style rationing.
Just because some kids go home and stuff their faces with brownies and ice cream doesn't justify starving the skinny ones during the day. Let go of your anger lunch ladies and please give the beanpoles an extra scoop of mashed potatoes, there is still a chance to redeem yourselves!
If you ever had an ant farm and never fed it to see what happened you might enjoy a career as a lunch lady.
#6 High School Dance DJ's
(You may notice a theme with these jobs coming from my teenage years. I'll assure you I actually had a positive young adult experience, and it is surely coincidence these last few positions are all centered around teenage years.)
High School Dance DJ's must have some brewing anger bottled somewhere deep inside them to travel on a weekly basis across wide swaths of America playing dance songs for young, unsure, pimply little young adults. The real maniacal aspect of DJ-ing for school dances is the pleasure they take from seeing all of us in our uncomfortable and unsure skins. They then play a "couples" slow dance song to weed the popular from the unpopular and stare in pure, sick, twisted enjoyment at the shame on the faces of those who weren't picked or were unable to find a dance partner standing in the corner.
For these reasons High School DJ's will probably forever burn in hell after their brief time here on this mortal earth. If you like seeing hearts crushed start practicing your DJ skills.
#5 Dentists
Yeah, you saw this coming didn't you, just like you saw that lecture coming on how you really need to floss more. Well, maybe my gums wouldn't bleed so much if you didn't ram that string down there like you were trying to saw through a brick of stale cheese!
Day in and day out, jamming particularly pointy metal things into the weakest and most sensitive parts of the mouth, the dentist is truly one evil human being. Sure, today as an adult you may have white and straight teeth, but remember the torture you had to endure for this "luxury"!
It seems as children, visiting the dentist is not all that bad, as they take extra care and give toys away. However, once you become an adult and start having teeth removed, drilled into, capped or any other various procedures (probably unnecessarily) prescribed, you realize the full torturous nature that is that of the dentists office.
If you enjoyed popping balloons more than looking at them as a kid, a career in dentistry equipped with pointy things might just be for you.
#4 Politicians
This is most appropriate with the current state of national affairs. To have people so self-centered that the federal government was shut down and paying national debt becomes not a given but instead a question mark. This selfish political maneuvering put the entire country's safety and security at risk, all for personal political gain.
Since it only seems to be coming from one particularly loony sect of one particular party these politicians only receive 4th position, as there are still some honest folk out that are not influenced by a disgruntled extremist faction of one particular interest group.
Still, the amounts of anger required to so stubbornly grind an entire nation to a halt is indicative of anger of epic proportions, and for that reason, politicians earn themselves a secure spot on this list.
If you were always the one to cry until you got your way, consider running for office. ..as a Republican.
#3 Budget Toilet Paper Engineers
Most commonly found in public buildings such as DMV's or schools, the ubiquitous, semi-translucent budget toilet paper has probably caused more woes for the average working person than many realize.
These budget rolls of toilet paper are huge, often "industrial" sized. They never rip across properly and always end up getting stuck up in the dispenser they are contained in. What's more, using a normal amount is not a viable option as the (literally) translucent nature of this paper means you'll end up with more excrement on your hand than on the paper. This leads to the use of much more than normally required, thus negating the environmental benefits of printing super thin paper in the first place!
This fault can be placed squarely on the guy, or team of guys, that designed this toilet paper. Do they use it at their own homes? Surely not! Instead they design a product that wreaks havoc on clean hands and the environment while probably going home to their own luxurious double thick quilted toilet paper. This greedy mentality and pervasive implementation of frustration earns budget toilet paper engineers a podium finish for some of the angriest workers in America.
If you never think twice about spitting your gum on a heavy trafficked sidewalk, engineering useless toilet paper is your calling.
#2 Police Officers
Some of the most despised people in America, these protectors of the law are a hard bunch to classify. On one hand, they consist of a few very honorable men and women, who put life and limb on the line for the protection of the public. On the other hand, spineless worms have worked their way into the force, who view the badge and the authority it projects as a pass to treat people in a rude manner with impunity.
Having attended a university that pumped out more cops than any other in the Midwest, I can attest to many of these young cops-in-waiting to seemingly being misfits who were bullied growing up. They are now pursuing the badge as just a way to exact their pent up revenge on society for somehow offending them at some point in their lives previously. Once the badge is attained these guys spend their days writing unnecessary tickets when warnings would suffice and generally intimidating hard working folk unnecessarily.
Because of this particularly cruel form of long-delayed revenge, some police officers can easily be said to be some of the angriest people in perhaps, the world. While they unfortunately taint the image of those honest cops in their ranks, they're bullying of the public places them high on this list regardless.
If you ever aspired to be a hall monitor but never got the chance and thus purposely caused trouble, you may be a police officer in waiting.
And finally, the job position you've been waiting for… the angriest job to have in America, belongs to that of….
#1 Blog Writers
Seriously, a guy who sits behind a desk, quietly recounting all the people who have upset him over his lifetime, spends hours writing it all down in detail to share with the world, and does so with a smile on his face the entire time is definitely, undoubtedly one heck of an angry and spiteful individual. When not writing for Resume Companion
I also burn pictures of kittens and pre-chew gum to cluster drop on sidewalks.
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