Tights keep you warm AND you don't even have to bother shaving.
So that would make these anti-shave, snuggly leg warmers a totally genius invention, right?
WRONG!
1. Firstly, they are a complete nightmare to put on.
2. And unless you clip them to your bra* they will roll down past your waist and cut into your stomach.
3. Or they will roll down underneath your belly, letting it all hang out.
4. Which means you spend a large percentage of your day hiking them up.
5. Quite possibly in public.
6. They don't make you feel like a graceful ballerina.
7. Or a sexy lingerie model.
8. OH NO.
9. You will always finding a a hole creeping up on you somewhere.
10. Or a pesky ladder.
11. And toe holes, fucking toe holes.
12. So you're always buying new tights and spending a shit ton of money.
13. They make your feet smell absolutely abysmal.
14. Because tights are basically a fucking sweatbox.
15. And so shit gets itchy, real itchy.
16. And itchiness + nails + tights =
17. You either have to sausage yourself in them to get a half decent fit.
18. Or go larger and risk them sagging below your hemline.
19. Sure tights can be cute, but the cuter the tights, the DEEPER THE PAIN.
20. So just say "ta-ta" to your tights, and hello to your luscious legs.
21. Because your cat looks better in them anyway.
