Being Single After A Breakup: Expectation Vs. Reality

    GUYS I'M SINGLE NOW! Hello? Hello???

    1. Expectation: Your bed will feel empty and you'll miss having someone to spoon.

    Reality: You'll be happy to have the bed to yourself and you don't give a fuck about humping the pillow.

    2. Expectation: You'll worry that you won't have anyone to talk to anymore about the small, but very important things.

    Reality: Your mates will be there for you night and day, ready to do whatever it is you need them to do.

    In fact, you'll realise that they would actually make the best partner in the world and that maybe you should just stop searching altogether.

    3. Expectation: You won't find anyone in the real world attractive again and you will resign yourself to just fantasising about Jamie Dornan in a period costume, riding a horse across a meadow.

    Reality: You'll suddenly see hot people EVERYWHERE and wonder where they have all been hiding.

    4. Expectation: You'll be ready to partaaaaayyyyyyy, get loose, and be spontaneous.

    Reality: You'll just want to catch up on all the TV you never got to watch because ex-bae only liked war epics and documentaries about whales.

    5. Expectation: You'll finally brave Tinder and meet someone who gets you all giggly and excited.

    You'll meet your ex on Tinder and it will be awkward as fuck.

    6. Expectation: When you're feeling lonely you'll be able to rely on your little black book of former flings.

    Reality: They're all actually in relationships now and they hope "you're doing well".

    Although there is always that one person...

    7. Expectation: You feel like you need to look your best if you're out on the prowl.

    Reality: Out on the prowl? Netflix and wine amirite?

    8. Expectation: When you do go out, you'll just get drunk, cry, and long for your ex.

    Reality: You'll get drunk, cry and long for your ex's sexy sex bits.

    9. Expectation: Now that you're not with bae, you'll have too much free time on your hands.

    Reality: In between hanging out with your mates, catching up on Netflix, and just generally doing your thang, you'll be needing more time.

    10. Expectation: When you find someone you like you'll act all nonchalant and cool.

    Reality: You'll wonder what you did to deserve such good fortune and you will hold on to it for dear life.

    11. Expectation: Being single will be scary and you won't know what to do with yourself.

    Reality: You'll realise you have other people who love you, and that being on your own can be empowering.

    SO LET IT ALL GO AND BE FREE!