1. Because the entire concept of swimsuits was not designed with us in mind.
2. Because buying a bikini top and bottom of the same size is completely impossible.
3. And because even if we find the right size, it would take magic for our boobs to be lifted up by a flimsy swimsuit.
4. Because underboob sweat-stains are horrifying, uncontrollable works of modern art.
5. Because cute beach photo-shoots come with great risk of personal injury when we do them.
6. Because casual, cool button-downs become too ventilated.
7. Because nothing is harder than taking off a sweaty sports bra and if we're working out, we have to take off two.
8. Because the only bras that can support us are thick, sweat-soaking, heat-traps.
9. (Which now need to be washed ten times as often, which is its own nightmare.)
10. And unless we want to scandalize and/or injure people, we don't get to go bra-less.
11. Because there is indescribable agony in having sweat pool up in your cleavage.
12. Because the number of times we have to reach in and adjust our twins is double when we're sweaty.
13. Because underwire + sweat = some really, really, really sore patches of skin.
14. Because airy backless clothes are NOT an option.
15. And because anything strapless will make us spend the entire day paranoid and probably exposed.
16. Because even simple summery deep-necks come with a whole lift-and-tuck-and-wiggle routine.
17. Because it's really, really hard to find crop-tops that don't get... Too cropped.
18. Because if we're going on a summer fitness kick, our arms will get toned just from a whole lotta this:
19. Because the only thing worse than a perpetually aching back is a sweaty AND achy back.
20. Because, one way or another, beach days become "flash everyone" days.
21. Because, thanks to boob sweat, sniffing inside our own shirts is a sure-fire way to gross ourselves out.
22. Because every moment of every day is now a countdown to when we get home and can take this damn bra off.
