1. Dresses that fit on your top half feel completely insubstantial from the waist down. Normal length on model = micro mini on you.
2. And pants that correctly fit your waist, hips, AND legs are a myth. Choose any two and buy a belt.
3. You’ve spent several hours of your life in fitting rooms stuck in pants that won’t go up past your thighs.
4. And when you do happen to find those perfect jeans, don’t get too attached. They’ll be gone reeeeal soon.
5. So this concept – no matter how absurd – is actually very, very appealing to you.
6. You spent all of high school and college leaking out of these awful chairs.
Is higher education worth these bruises?