1. Your friends sometimes refer to you as your Instagram/Twitter handle. In real life.
2. You start planning your #throwbackthursdays over a week in advance, to prevent this from happening:
3. But you know that the social web comes with a code of conduct. And you respect it.
4. And you've been known to plan activities based on the Instagrams you'll get out of them.
5. You're guilty of secretly deleting posts because they didn't get enough likes.
6. This is the most terrifying sight in the world.
7. Because your mom/friends start to worry if you haven't posted an update in a couple of hours.
8. So obviously you have to carry around a portable charger for your phone.
9. You have a hard time falling asleep because you're in the habit of checking your phone once a minute...which gets in the way of actually closing your eyes.
10. And when you do call it a night, you fall asleep excited for the fresh crop of notifications you'll wake up to.
11. The first thing you do when you meet someone interesting is comb through their social updates from the last five years.
12. And when you have a crush on someone, you have all their profiles memorized.
13. Although, in both cases, you don't actually follow them until they've followed you first. Duh.
14. Because you have an ideal "followers" to "following" ratio and you stick to it.
15. Your heart rate spikes dangerously when you get a notification about your Klout score changing.
16. And you get phantom alerts all the time.
17. Your friends constantly get mad at you for being on your phone too much while you're hanging out.
18. In return, you get mad at them for not "liking"/commenting on your posts fast enough.
19. The first thing you do when you wake up after a night out is check your Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter to see what damage you did.
20. You find joy in the little things, like when your list of Instagram likers switches to a number.
21. You have the best emotional release.
22. You'd rather have nearly any conversation online than face-to-face or on the phone.
23. You feel emotionally confused when you meet someone as social media savvy as you, because you want to be best friends but you're threatened by their Klout score.
24. You're a champion at defending your social media addiction, because you've had to do it so often.
25. But you console yourself with the promise of a well-documented life.
26. And you're gonna spend the next three minutes trying to decide what hashtag to tweet this list with.
