23 Signs You’re Being Bullied By The Universe

The world has decided to shit on you, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Sorry.

1. When you put your headphones in your pocket for five minutes, they come out impossibly tangled.

2. When the dryer runs a full cycle, your jeans stay damp.

3. As soon as you get comfortable in bed, you need to pee.

4. When you’re texting lying down, your phone almost always falls on your face.

5. Whenever you take a test, every question is from the one chapter you skipped studying.

6. When you’re looking forward to the first sip of your soda, you get showered in it instead.

7. The ONE thing you want in the entire store is always unavailable in the ONE size that you need.

8. When the couch you’re sitting on makes a farting sound, you can’t recreate it to prove you didn’t fart.

9. This always happens to your favorite pair of jeans.

10. When you get comfortable on your couch, the TV remote is nowhere to be found…

11. Or your drink is just sliiiightly out of reach.

12. The one day you don’t check the weather before leaving home, it rains.

13. And when you’re actually ready for rain/snow, the world is sunny and hot and you look like a fool.

14. You always *just* miss the train.

15. If you’re ever brave enough to wear white, it never stays white for long.

16. You wait patiently all week to watch your favorite show, but the internet always spoils it for you.

17. Your assigned seat on flights is always conveniently between a snorer, a farter, a sneezer, and a crying baby.

18. You regularly see this devastating sight.

19. And these ones.

 

20. Every sandwich you ever order turns out to be 90% lettuce, and 100% mess.

21. This always happens exactly two minutes after you’re done doing your nails.

22. Stores always go on sale right after you’ve spent all your money shopping there at full price.

23. And the music always goes off at the exact moment that you’re yelling something inappropriate.

Fox Searchlight Pictures / Via swide.com

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