This Blog Rewrites Your Favorite Rap Lyrics More Respectfully, And The Results Are Hilarious

“Feel free to take your time with my croissants.”

1. According to its creators, “Respectful Rappers” began as an attempt to “address the aggression and misogyny in rap music.”


Its creators, Bob Vulfov and Eli Grober, are friends who graduated from Columbia University earlier this year. “To be clear, we love rap,” they told BuzzFeed, “But maybe it’s time to stop demeaning gay people and calling women ‘bitches.’ Just a suggestion. We don’t really know how Tumblr works, but people seem to like our idea. Also, Kanye West won’t stop leaving us angry voicemails.” Below are some of their finest works.

2. Original Lyric: “Bitches ain’t shit.”

3. Original lyric: “If you’re having girl problems I feel bad for you, son / I’ve got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.”

4. Original Lyric: “Ass ass ass ass ass.”

5. Original Lyric: “The finest vaginas demolished by my dick.”

6. Original Lyric: “I guess that cunt getting eaten.”

7. Original Lyric: “Last I heard, y’all was having sex with the same sex / I show no love to homo thugs.”

8. Original Lyric: “She changed her name to ‘my bitch.’”

9. Original Lyric: “She’s one of those type of women / That do crazy things, and if she don’t get her way she’ll throw a fit.”

10. Original Lyric: “Fuck the police.”

11. Original Lyric: “Hurry up with my damn croissants.”

12. See the blog in full here.

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