1. Permanent control over the T.V. remote and/or the Netflix queue.
Fox / Via redhalo-of-wings.tumblr.com
2. A permanent, foolproof cure to morning breath.
New Line Cinema / Via elitedaily.com
5. For your partner to turn a blind eye to aaaall the cool clothes you’ve stolen from their wardrobe.
NBC / Via youtube.com
6. A non-negotiable position as your relationship’s one and only Little Spoon.
8. For the two of you to hang out with your friends once a week, and with theirs once a year.
HBO / Via entertainmentwise.com
9. A “get out of hanging out with the family” card to use when you really need it.
ABC / Via offcolortv.com
10. For them to keep their apartment stocked with all of your personal hygiene supplies.
NBC / Via uproxx.com
11. Breakfast in bed every Sunday morning. Black coffee and Advil on the side, please.
NBC / Via ttheodoropoulos.tumblr.com
12. A “no questions asked” policy when it comes to bodily hair and all of its manipulation.
13. For your significant other to suddenly develop a desire to pay for… You know… Everything.
14. To hear these words every Friday night: “Wanna stay in and drink wine and watch your favorite movie??”
NBC / Via mrhankey.tumblr.com
15. For them to concede that you are always right. Even when you are not. Sshhhh.
16. A daily, single passenger, one-way ticket to Pleasuretown, that you don’t need reimbursed.
Columbia Pictures / Via nicolesamudio.tumblr.com
17. For them to suddenly develop a proclivity for doing, folding, and putting away all of your laundry.
CBS / Via lindyhopproblems.tumblr.com
18. For them to memorize all your favorite teams’ game schedules, and never make any conflicting plans.
Screen Gems / Via elitedaily.com
19. And, of course, to then watch all the games with you and genuinely enjoy each one.
20. For them to always be the one who has to get out of bed and turn off the light.
NBC / Via dailyedge.ie
21. A steady stream of undeserved and not fully accurate compliments.
22. A judgment-free zone for all your politically incorrect thoughts.
Sony Pictures / Via theresagreen.tumblr.com
23. An ongoing promise to always like your social media updates without your having to ask. Even the ones they don’t actually like.
In The News Today
- U.S. President Barack Obama visited Oregon on Friday to meet with victims' families after last week's deadly campus shooting. Gun-rights activists protested his visit. ›
- The U.S. ended its $500 million program that trains and equips Syrian rebels in their fight against ISIS. ›
- A judge halted all eight scheduled executions in Arkansas. Inmates are challenging a law allowing the state to keep the source of its execution drugs a secret. ›