26 Dangerous Symptoms Of Being Addicted To Puns

This is cruel and unusual PUNishment.

1. Your addiction is putting your health at risk.

2. Your incorrigible need to pun has probably offended someone’s religious sensibility.

More like the Father, the PUN, and the Holy Ghost, amirite?

3. You’ve spent money acquiring elaborate props for the sake of a pun.

4. And you’ve made major lifestyle choices based on the joke you’ll be able to tell after.

5. Your efforts in the kitchen are 100% fruitless.

6. You’ve found yourself talking to inanimate things in the name of punmanship.

7. You see interior decoration as one big oppuntunity.

8. You don’t pay any attention to news that doesn’t come pun-packaged.

9. You know that every word has an equal and opposite pun.

 

10. Your sense of humor helps you decide what liquids to punsume.

11. And you often entirely forget to eat, because you’re caught up punning about your food instead.

 

12. You’re COMPLETELY punhelpful in emergency situations.

13. The only friends you have left are the ones that are EXTREMELY opun minded.

14. Nobody likes your presents.

15. And your addiction has lost you friends.

16. This, to you, is what true love looks like.

17. You can’t ever pay attention in class because math and science are large pun playgrounds.

18. Your wardrobe consists entirely of punprofessional clothing.

19. You’ve sacrificed household appliances for the sake of your punnery.

20. And you’ve put flora and fauna in serious jeopardy for laughs.

21. You’ve made some truly terrible business decisions.

22. You literally hear this every time someone sings do-re-mi.

23. You forget celebrities’ actual names because you’ve renamed them all with puns.

24. Your halloween costumes always require explaining.

 

25. You’re often stuck trying to explain yourself to people who just don’t get it.

26. But no matter what anyone else says, you know your jokes are to die for.

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