If Pelosi Wieghs the Same As a Duck, She is a Torturer!

While the standards of justice and the law are still in flux since the One took office in January, it is difficult to figure out how to handle Speaker Pelosi. Truth commission? Prosecution? Censure? Given their gaffetastic track record so far, the discussion at the DOJ is probably going something like: I guess it depends on whether she floats or not when you throw her in water. How do you tell whether she is made of wood? Build a bridge out of her! But can you not also build bridges out of stone? What else floats in water? A DUCK! So if she weighs the same as a duck, she is made of wood, and therefore. . .SHE IS A TORTURER!!! We shall use my larger scales!