1.
You have a lot of strong ideas about food.
2.
You're basically hungry all the time.
3.
Hungry in all situations.
4.
For what? Honestly, anything.
5.
No, make that...everything.
6.
But not, like, hungry enough to do anything about it yourself.
7.
That's someone else's job.
8.
And they better make it snappy.
9.
Because if the problem isn't addressed, things get ugly.
10.
Or just straight-up pathetic.
11.
Let's face it, you have priorities other than being in really good shape.
12.
Important priorities.
13.
Delicious priorities.
14.
You know you have food to thank for basically everything.
15.
You know food is going to be there for you.
16.
Food is your life partner.
17.
Food will never give you up...
18.
...never let you down...
19.
...never run around...
22.
But whatever, screw the haters.
24.
Of course, there are a few foods you have to watch out for.
25.
But for the most part, food is just a magical and perfect thing.
26.
It fills your life with poetic beauty.
27.
It brings people together.
28.
It makes you feel special.
29.
And that's all in addition to, like, keeping you alive.
