New iPhone App Finds Nearest Pizza, Understands Life

Marry me, Pizza Compass.

Pizza Compass is a new iPhone app that does one very important thing: Finds the pizza closest to you and points you toward it.

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All you need to do is open the app and walk in the direction the spinning compass/slice points. You can rotate the slice to get the closest place in any direction, swipe to find more options if you’re not sold, and tap to see a map, photos or more info about a particular pizza place (intel sourced from Foursquare).

I will gladly (gleefully, even!) pay 99 cents for this app, because it understands a few Key Truths of Human Nature:

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1. When I want pizza, I ONLY want pizza.

Chill out, sandwiches, I’ll eat you some other time.

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2. By the time I really need pizza, I’ll probably be too drunk and/or hangry to type in any words to find it.

Thumbs are hard to use sometimes.

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3. I will buy anything a weird dude in a suit holding a piece of pizza tells me to.

Video available at:

According to Gizmodo’s sleuthing, the dude in Pizza Compass’s hilarious promo video is a random Craigslist-sourced actor name Gary Ray. Gary, I salute you.

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Pizza Compass

You can download the app here and find more info on “the most important app ever made” on their website.

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Heartfelt thanks to Icky Ricky for bringing this to our attention.

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