This is just a bullshit barrier to brownie access. I want it STRAIGHT UP.
3. Sausage, Mashed Potato, Gravy & Peas
A British innovation, naturally.
4. Cinnamon Rolls
It’s hard to complain about eating a cinnamon roll in any context, but…? (????)
If you’re willing to fly to Korea for research purposes, the restaurant Balena serves a wide array of waffle cone meal options, including steak. On the other hand, don’t do that.
6. Caesar Salad
In a crouton cone. Get it!? (It’s OK if you don’t, cone food is complex.)
Potentially a legit hack for sad people who don’t own muffin tins; fill the cones and arrange them (Very Carefully) on a baking sheet. Then buy a damn muffin tin.
8. Bacon & Eggs
The Bacone contains scrambled eggs, cheese and sausage gravy, and wears a cute little biscuit hat. “It’s like an entire Old Country Buffet plate wrapped up into a cone!” Unfortunately, probably best approached with a fork.
11. Raw Tuna
Thanks (?) for bringing this concept into the world, Wolfgang.
12. Pumpkin Pie
Get out of here. Just give me a dang slice of pie.
14. Pancakes, Sausage, and Cinnamon Cream Cheese
Well that, right there, is a goddamn breakfast of champions.
Something this magical could only exist at Disneyland.
16. Fruit Salad
If your kids are gullible enough, you might be able to convince them it’s ice cream.