Food

What You Imagine You’ll Make For Dinner Vs. What You Actually Eat

Pinterschmerzen (n.): The acute pain of realizing that your life looks nothing like Pinterest.

1. Imagine you’ll make: healthy grilled fish.

Recipe: Spiced Salmon Kebabs

2. Actually eat: frozen fish sticks.

With white stuff, mmmm.

3. Imagine you’ll make: fancy pasta with seafood.

Recipe: Spaghetti with Mussels and White Beans

4. Actually eat: sad spaghetti with sauce from a jar.

One big glop, just how I like it.

5. Imagine you’ll make: gooey, crispy baked mac ‘n’ cheese.

Recipe: Martha’s Macaroni and Cheese

6. Actually eat: Easy Mac.

STEP OFF, YOU DON’T KNOW ME

7. Imagine you’ll make: fried rice with a perfect sunny-side-up egg.

Recipe: Holy Basil Fried Rice

8. Actually eat: weird egg stuff.

Weird Egg Stuff is the official No. 1 food group of twentysomethings.

9. Imagine you’ll make: a beautiful pot of fresh vegetable soup.

Recipe: Soup au Pistou

10. Actually eat: soup from a can.

Pro tip: Adding the can to the pot infuses extra aluminum flavor.

11. Imagine you’ll make: amazing fried chicken and fluffy biscuits.

Recipe: Double-Dredged & Fried Chicken

12. Actually eat: breaded lumps filled with a mysterious chicken-like substance.

Which came first, the patty or the nug?

TRICK QUESTION. They were extruded at the same time and later formed by robots into meatshapes of differing size.

13. Imagine you’ll make: fancy rice salad.

Recipe: Wild Rice Salad with Miso Dressing

14. Actually eat: some rice you forgot you had in your fridge from last weekend.

If you add soy sauce, it’s basically cooking.

15. Imagine you’ll make: delicious hand-made pizza with fresh veggies.

Recipe: Summer Vegetable Pizza

16. Actually eat: box-shaped frozen pizza from a box.

It’s not delivery; it’s despair.

17. Imagine you’ll make: gorgeous ramen with homemade noodles.

Recipe: Ramen at Home

18. Actually eat: instant noodles out of a styrofoam cup.

The bright side is that it’s a GREAT deal on your sodium intake for the day!

19. Imagine you’ll make: diet-friendly lettuce wraps.

Recipe: Asian Lettuce Wraps

20. Actually eat: a burrito as large as a kitten.

What? I was hungry.

21. Imagine you’ll make: pretty little dumplings you folded with your own two hands.

Recipe: Spring Vegetable Potstickers

22. Actually eat: mediocre takeout from the place down the street.

AND YET: Is there such a thing as an un-delicious dumpling? There is not.

23. Imagine you’ll make: a lovely tuna niçoise salad.

Recipe: Niçoise Potato Salad

24. Actually eat: tuna straight from the can.

It counts as a meal if you put peppers next to it?

25. Imagine you’ll make: a glorious, bacon-filled plate of pasta carbonara.

Recipe: Pasta Carbonara

26. Actually eat: some pasta you microwaved with cheese on it.

All Hail Cheesy Pasta, Lord Of The Night, Ruler Of Drunks.

27. Imagine you’ll make: adorable individual frittatas.

Recipe: Egg and Spinach Frittata Muffins

28. Actually eat: scrambled eggs with…stuff.

Shhhhh shhhhhhh don’t worry just cover it with hot sauce shhhhh

29. Imagine you’ll make: crispy quesadillas filled with lots of good stuff.

Recipe: Cheesy Double Bean Quesadillas with Homemade Avocado Ranch

30. Actually eat: a tortilla with some Kraft singles on top.

Just please, please, unwrap them first. Please.

31. Imagine you’ll make: chicken skewers with yummy Thai peanut sauce.

Recipe: Chicken Satay with Spicy Peanut Sauce

32. Actually eat: peanut butter from the jar.

WE MEET AGAIN, MY OLD FRIEND

33. IN SUMMARY…

35. Always actually eat: cereal.

Because cereal will love you forever and never let you down.

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