No One Actually Knows What Kale Is

Y’all need to educate yourselves.

For a while, it seemed that kale’s meteoric rise to cruciferous stardom was unstoppable.

That all came crashing down a few days ago, when The New York Times broke news that French people don’t know or care about kale.

…and told us about the world’s first international kalevangelist.

At the same time, a Burger King executive (explaining the launch of BK’s new, less-fatty french fries) launched a full-out assault on kale’s reputation.

Fries: Burger King / Kale: Shutterstock

In his words:

“You live in Manhattan and might be having a kale smoothie on your way to work this morning,” said Eric Hirschhorn, chief marketing officer for Burger King, the nation’s No. 3 hamburger chain after McDonald’s and Wendy’s. “But a lot of people don’t even know what kale is, and if they do, they don’t want to eat it. You have to give people what they want.”

Could this be? Are french fries actually the Great American Vegetable? Is the vast majority of this nation living a contentedly kaleless life? It’s a terrifying thought, but…it might be true.

BuzzFeed carried out an investigation (by looking at Twitter) and these are the results of our highly scientific study:

1. No, people don’t know what kale is.

Question umm hi what is kale?

— DearGelly (@Angelica Magno.)

What is kale even?

— natalieperro (@Nαtαℓie Perro)

What is Kale? It sounds nasty

— AGRONsidekicks (@Dianna Agron Fan!)

What's kale?

— YouGotSnixed (@Myriam)

2. Citizens are bewildered by kale’s sudden ubiquity.

What is Kale and why am I seeing it everywhere

— Ntgcasey (@Nathaniel Casey)

What is kale and how did it all of a sudden get so popular?

— SirRancelot (@Rance Nix)

What is Kale and why is everyone putting it in all of their recipes?

— SadieBrennon (@Sadie)

3. Many feel that kale, whatever it is, fuels class tension.

"i don't know what kale is but it sounds pretentious as hell" @PeterAntosh , keeping it real in LA

— whatsfordunch (@MaryD)

@elmakias idk what kale is but all that sounds ratchet

— JackAllTimeIovv (@SarahLee.)

Why do white people like kale? I don't even know what kale is! --R

— shitourbfssay (@ShitOurBoyfriendsSay)

4. In summary, Josh Groban may love kale…

…but do his followers? Not necessarily.

@joshgroban what is Kale? and where do i get it? lol

— KimYannayon (@Kim Yannayon)

5. And even when they find out, they probably aren’t going to be happy about it.

@HeidiRKling I don't know what kale is but I'll assume that it's healthy and say to you, thank you but no thank you.

— eli_w_n (@eli)

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