Want to talk anonymously about your job? Write BuzzFeed Shift’s editors at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Most of the guys who call me do it on a lark. They find me on Niteflirt, which is an online directory for phone sex. I am the only “sex psychic” on the site which gives me an edge.
My profile on Niteflirt explains that the caller should come with a question. I can tell you how someone you are attracted to feels about you, I can tell you what your sexual nature was in a past life, I can help you embolden your lover and help her enjoy being slutty. (Which I mean in a sex-positive way!)
I always felt my life mission was to help in some way with our understanding of human sexuality. I want to help people feel more comfortable with their sexuality. I want to help create a sexually just society.
And I am psychic. I first knew it maybe twenty years ago when realized I was picking up on other people’s thoughts. So when people imagine being psychic they imagine it will be all mind-reading,100% telepathy. But psychic thought can also mean picking up on emotional feelings that aren’t yours. Or it can be picking up on visual thought. There are more ways of getting information than we acknowledge. The big giveaway is if it comes from out of nowhere then it probably isn’t yours.
Once I was on a call with a guy and I felt the sensation of being choked. I asked him “are you into breath-play?” He was shocked. He was silent at first then denied it. But he denied it in a way that made it obvious that I’d struck a nerve and freaked him out.
This whole thing started because I had medical bills and needed an alternative way of making money. The first two things that came to mind were phone psychic and phone sex. So, I enrolled in a psychic class where I learned about auras and mediumship and communicating with past lives. After the course I started working a mainstream psychic line doing regular readings for $1.88 a minute. And then at night, I also started doing phone sex for the same cost. It wasn’t long before I combined the two.
By day, working on the mainstream psychic line, I am talking almost solely with women. People calling a mainstream psychic line have certain expectations of what a psychic reading will look like. Whereas the guys who come from Niteflirt have no idea what to expect.
I start each sex psychic reading reading by grounding the space and tuning my chakras (a “chakra” is a place in the body that collects energy). I’ll have my eyes closed with a notebook sitting next to me so I can jot down the images and fragments that come from the spirit realm.
I begin and end each session with a more traditional psychic reading. But as the men ask questions about their sex lives or women they know, I would find out what turned them on and we would build a fantasy from that. Ultimately, I would help them orgasm. One guy asked about a succession of women in his life. Co-workers, potential dates, female friends. Would he have sex with any of these women? And then, ultimately we’d build to a fantasy with one of the women in particular. He would be having sex with her in front of the long windows in their new apartment, pressing her body against the glass and taking her from behind — the whole deal.
I also offer psychic persuasion, which means I send psychic energy to the person you sexually desire. I had one caller who obsessed about a male friend with whom he’d had a single homosexual experience. He hadn’t heard from the friend in years but he couldn’t stop thinking about him. I sent messages overnight while they slept, saying “call him, call him, call him.” I sent sexual energy and energy to the heart chakra. After out third session I received an e-mail with the subject “WOW.” The old friend had called, seemingly out of nowhere.
Some of the more difficult questions I’ve received from callers are: Why am I like this? Why do I have this particular fetish? Why am I attracted to S&M? Those are hard to navigate. But with the caller’s permission I can ask their unconscious, which is this very low energy place that communicates in fragments, words and phrases. Sometimes the answer is that it comes from a past life. I had one guy who was a dominant and into S&M and wanted to know why. What came was that in a past life, he played with a line of being cruel. He had a wife who he isolated and was brutal towards And in this life he had to learn the line between domination as cruelty and domination as pleasure. The message wasn’t ‘quit S&M’, but rather learn to control yourself.
The funny thing is that once the callers realize I am actually psychic, they start asking about their careers and other things.
Niteflirt started out really fun but after a year I burned out. As an empath I am just too sensitive. One man called me repeatedly and told me heartbreaking stories about abuse. These were stories about how he was raped by other men. As an empath I felt his genuine despair, grief and pain. I took this as an indicator of truthfulness but after awhile I just started to wonder.
I went to a private forum for the Niteflirt operators and asked if anyone knew this guy. A few other operators wrote in and said they did. He had a reputation as someone who gets off on making someone else feel pain. He was taking me for a ride. That was a huge lesson for me. Just because I feel the emotion doesn’t mean it is real.
I am still the one and only sex psychic and I still answer sexy questions but I no longer offer to help the caller reach orgasm. My regular callers know this. And for the most part the guys are good. They are calling for a sexual psychic reading so they can ask about their relationships and fetishes and their dark side. You can ask me things you wouldn’t ask another psychic reader. But every once in awhile I have a call where I have to stand up, shake my body and stomp around afterward, just doing whatever I can to clear it.
As told to Rachel Rabbit White.