The Victorian Era was a period defined by morality and refined sensibility.
Who better to teach the social tenets of this historic era than the reigning queens of klass: The Kardashians.
1. “Never speak or act in anger.”
Notable times Kim has lost her cool: (1) When she lost a diamond earring in the ocean and (2) when she literally beat the shit out of Khloe with a purse.
But, hey, kudos to her for beginning to show concern.
2. “Learn to deny yourself and prefer others.”
Everyone obviously prefers Khloe.
3. “Remember that, valuable as is the gift of speech, silence is often more valuable.”
Kim demonstrates this principal by abruptly quitting the music industry. Her silence is the sweetest “jam” of them all.
4. “Banish a self-conscience spirit.”
It’s okay to be a little konceited.
5. “Do not neglect little things if they can affect the comfort of others.”
Kim should never be neglected the opportunity to take selfies. If Kris is going to deny her of that privilege, she should be banished from the Kardashian kastle.
6. “If you are conversing with people who know less than you, do not lead the conversation where they cannot follow.”
Neutral subjects, like mermaids, are great.
7. “Clean clothing, clean skin, clean hands, including the nails, and clean, white teeth, are a requisite passport for good society.”
8. “A hearty sexuality inspires both [men and women] to the right estimation of the faculties and qualities of each other.”
Go on with your bad self, Khlo Money.
9. “Cultivate a happy temper; banish the blues; a cheerful saguine spirit begets cheer and hope.”
Kim is the most kontent Kardashian.
10. “No woman can afford to treat men rudely.”
Little known fact: calling someone a ‘douche kebab’ was the ultimate form of flattery in Victorian England.
11. “Learn to say kind and pleasant things when opportunity offers.”
Such komplimentary queens!