1. Tourists are your worst enemies.
No, I do not know where the Empire State Building is. Do I look like Google Maps to you?
2. Your apartment is probably as big as someone else’s closet in Connecticut.
3. And you should be super grateful if you have an elevator.
Imagine lifting your sofa up a 5-floor walk up… food for thought.
4. There’s a different smell on every corner.
Hmmmm… is that sewage with a hint of rotten garbage?
5. It’s pronounced HOW-stun not HEW-ston.
Are you from Texas?
6. Clipboard people are the devils in disguise.
I absolutely do not have a minute!!! STOP FOLLOWING ME.
7. Be prepared to wait an hour when heading to a good restaurant.
If Zagat rated it over 26 points then it must be a culinary gem among the other 129,375 out there.
8. That is why Seamless becomes your best friend.
She’s always there for you, 24/7.
9. $1 Pizza is also God’s gift to mankind.
Worth every penny.
10. Black is the new black.
Winter is coming… like always.
11. The only rainbow you’ll see is the Pride Parade.
Your neon E-Zoo crop top got nothin’ on me, honey.
12. One of your life goals is to be featured in “Humans of New York.”
13. Tinder is New Yorkers’ “single” guilty pleasure.
Swipe right… It’s a match!
14. Soul Cycle is not a form of exercise, it’s a lifestyle.
It’s the new yoga, except more expensive and harder to schedule.
15. Public nudity might be a necessary evil.
If only they were all Ryan Gosling.
16. You will witness bizarre things on the subway.
In fact, you even start to miss it when it’s gone.