Brandi Glanville: A Brief Lesson In How NOT To Apologize For A Stupid Comment

After referring to her fellow RHOBH cast mate Joyce as a "black person" because she didn't want to go swimming (according to Brandi black people don't swim due to weave concerns and general fear of water), Brandi offered a rather confusing apology on Bravo's blog. It may have been lackluster, but it was certainly enlightening. Let's all learn from Brandi kids!

1. Your sex life and level of racism are NOT actually related

Brandi's Bravo blog started off promising. It's hard to go wrong with the title I Want to Sincerely Apologize.

However, nothing good can last and things quickly went left when Brandi decided to lead with: "to start off, I have been in several romantic relationships over the years with African-American men and still have close relationships with those ex-boyfriends even now."

To paraphrase: Brandi is telling us that because she has chosen to have intimate relationships with African-American men, she can't possibly be racist.

Well Brandi, sadly your sex life has no actual correlation to your level of racism. Feeling the need to draw parallels between the two is a little too similar to that annoying "I have a black friend" defense well all know better than to...Oh wait, that happened too.

2. Your "diverse" group of friends is NOT your get out of jail free card

After giving us an abridged history of her various romantic interludes Brandi then went on to tell us this: "I have had girlfriends from pretty much every ethnical background. Sometimes (actually a lot of times) these girlfriends and I joke inappropriately with each other. These jokes are clearly not ready for TV."

To paraphrase: Brandi is telling us that her diverse group of friends from every "ethnical background" would not be so diverse if she were in fact racist. She also wants us to know that she frequently makes racially insensitive jokes with them and they're cool with it. Apparently us not-so-liberated folk in TV land just aren't ready.

Here's the thing, the lack of personal accountability kind of puts a damper on the whole apology thing. Not only does Brandi employ the tired "I have a ____ friend" defense, she essentially tells us that we're taking things entirely too seriously. After all, her friends from different "ethnical backgrounds" don't care, so why should we, right?

3. Marrying someone of a different ethnic background does NOT suddenly make you an expert on their culture

Brandi then goes on to tell us about her past marriage to a Cuban man and how it made her an expert on all things relating to the Spanish language: "In most Latin languages or at least from what I had learned being with a Cuban man and his family for over 13 years, the letter J is usually pronounced as a "y." Since Joyce is constantly speaking Spanish, I assumed she would want her name pronounced properly."

To paraphrase: Brandi is telling us that because she married someone of a different ethnic background she is by default somewhat of an expert on all things related...Oh, and she was totes not being a shady boots, mean girl by mispronouncing Joyce's name after hearing Joyce refer to herself as Joyce with a J on a million different occasions.

Hey Brandi, can I refer you to the BuzzFeed article on racial micro-aggressions?

4. The Overall Lesson?

While no one wants to be thought of as racist for making a bad joke, sometimes it's better to just say sorry and leave it at that.