59 Reasons Netflix Streaming Is Extremely Disappointing

This post is dedicated to everyone who has ever spent a full hour trying to find something to watch before giving up completely.

Netflix is great, right? They have cool original series like Orange Is the New Black

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And House of Cards

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..and the fourth season of Arrested Development.

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But if you’re looking for movies that are streaming on Netflix, you have to say a little prayer and hope for the best.

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Let’s say you get the urge to rewatch Boogie Nights. What a great movie, right?

New Line
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1. Nope. Not happening.

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2. OK, maybe a different Paul Thomas Anderson film?

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3. Ugh, seriously?

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OK, OK. It’s not a Paul Thomas Anderson night. But what about…

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4. Robert Altman?

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5. Francis Ford Coppola?

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6. Richard Linklater?

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7. Woody Allen, aside from Annie Hall and Manhattan, or his lame recent movies?

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8. Maybe something by John Cassavetes?

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9. Nicole Holofcener?

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10. Alfred Hitchcock?

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11. Roman Polanski, in his glory days?

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12. Coen Brothers? They gotta have The Big Lebowski.

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13. Maybe something a bit older, like a Preston Sturges movie?

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14. Or possibly John Ford?

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15. Fine. Fine. Maybe…Martin Scorcese?

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16. A slightly less popular Scorcese movie?

Ugh. This one is so good too.

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17. Bergman?

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18. Antonioni?

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19. Kubrick?

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20. Tarantino?

(In fairness, they do have Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill.)

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21. Orson goddamn Welles?

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(Sarcastic clapping)

Warner Bros.
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22. Are there any classic movies here?

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23. Like, at all?

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24. Anything a budding cinephile might want to catch up on?

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25. C’mon, guys.

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26. This is impossible.

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OK, this is a real shot in the dark, but is there even the slightest chance they could have some….French New Wave films?

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27. LOL, of course not!

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28. Why would there be?

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29. As far as Netflix is concerned, Louis Malle doesn’t even exist.

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30. And Breathless is some movie by a South Korean director.

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You know what? Maybe the problem is that we’re looking for movies that are a little too arty. Let’s just watch something popular. Something everyone knows and loves.

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31. Ha.

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32. Hahahaha!

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33. Suuuuuure.

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34. Riiiiight.

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35. Of course.

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36. That’s hilarious.

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37. It’s insane to think they’d have a Harry Potter movie, much less all of them.

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Warner Bros.
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38. Now just randomly typing in the names of famous movies.

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39. Nope.

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40. Nope.

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41. Nope.

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42. Yeah, this wasn’t the Arthur I had in mind.

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43. Nope.

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44. Nope.

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45. Nope.

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46. Nope.

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47. Nope.

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48. Nope, nope.

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49. Nope, nope, nope.

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50. Sigh.

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51. Siiiiigh.

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OK. It could be that Netflix is just a lot better for binging on television shows. Maybe it’s time to catch up on a classic series.

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52. Ugh.

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53. Really?

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54. Jeez.

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55. You’re killing me, Netflix.

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56. It’s not like this isn’t in reruns on TV all day, but still.

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57. This is futile.

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58. And, frankly, at this point, soul-crushing.

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59. It’s like Netflix is trying to hurt us.

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Well, there’s only one solution to this problem.

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It’s time to go where everybody knows your name.

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